Week 19 - Thoughts

Thoughts

Couldn't take it any more. Bit all my nails off. Now I can type even faster! I'm sure they'll grow back with the pregnancy hormones.

I'm a little nostalgic thinking about how nice it would have been to be expecting a little girl so I could keep fantasizing about doing cute little girly things like painting our toenails together and teaching her how to put on makeup. I don't like that I feel that way, but I'm just being honest. I have mixed emotions I suppose. I also suppose it's all completely normal so while I feel a tad bit guity for having these feelings, I don't necessarily feel it's wrong.

I'm still very happy we're having another little boy and I still see more benefits to having a boy over a girl right now. I'm already in love with him and now I just can't wait to meet him and kiss his little toes. I just can't wait to bond with him.

I'm mostly just nervous about how it will all affect my relationship with Lucian and how he will deal with another little boy to share his room, toys, clothes, and especially, HIS parents. I was thinking a relationship with a little girl would be so different that Lucian wouldn't feel like he was being traded for another little boy. I really worry about how Lucian is going to deal with all of this. I expect he'll be like any other normal little kid and be insanely jealous and feel like he's being replaced. I'm really glad we waited until he was a little older to have another. I think I'd be even more worried if he were not almost 3.

I'm the oldest of 4 and I'm very sensative to what Lucian is about to experience and I'm going to try my best to do whatever I can to make him feel special and not like he's being replaced. I've always told him that he is the little boy of my dreams and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

I can't help feeling how that statement might change now that I'm having another little dream come true – another child that's also a little boy of my dreams. Lucian already made my dreams of having a son come true and to be honest, I've always just pictured myself with one of each – a boy and a girl, that's it. I suppose those are like princess fairy tales when you think of it because it's impossible to know what you'll really end up with when you try for the second to complete your little perfect snapshot of how you imagine your life to be.

I guess that's part of growing up and being an adult — realizing the difference between dreams, goals, aspirations and unrealistic fantasies.

Projects

Yesterday I got into a nesting frenzy and it's still continuing today. I've been chipping away at this blog post in between trips to what I'm now calling "The Boys' Room" to put things away or reorganize little things here and there. It's like a bird who flies around picking up little pieces of straw and bits little by little each time to build the perfect nest. I love tweaking everything. It just makes me happy.

We just got done inventorying all of the children's books we have and I can not believe just how many we've accumulated for Lucian over the past three years! We have a really nice book case built into the wall in our living area so we just reorganized it so that all books for children 17 and under are out there and all "adult" books like how-to, reference and novels are now in our bedroom along with photo albums. I really like the way it looks now and how easily accessible it is to Lucian and someday, his baby brother. We put all of the little board books on the very bottom and then they go up in age appropriateness towards the top.

Before that, I just had Nate pull down 2 storage totes containing all the baby and maternity clothing and supplies. I've been in denial about whether I'm showing now or not and if it's time to start wearing maternity clothing. I'm really confused because I have not yet gained any weight but at 19 weeks now, regular clothing is really starting to become uncomfortable. I keep pushing my elastic band below my belly and my shirts are not covering everything right now, so I suppose it's time. I guess I'll start taking belly pictures soon too but I feel odd about that because I don't feel like I LOOK pregnant. I feel like I just look fat. When I was pregnant with Lucian, I don't think I started showing till around 20 weeks. Even at full term, my belly was never completely round. It was a very odd shape. I'm not complaining because I only gained 27 pounds that time while other friends and family members had gained 50 or more.

I just got finished cleaning and reorganizing The Boys' Room and I'm really happy with the way it looks now. I'd still like to see some shelving on the one wall for some knickknacks. I'm not very fond of knickknacks personally, but we do have several pieces that people have given us over the years that hold sentimental value. There are also some photos I need to frame and hang. It's one of those things that will never be finished, but for now I really enjoy just sitting in the rocking chair while hanging out with Lucian to watch him play his little computer games or read books and dream about the time when there will be two little boys sharing that space together. I look over at the crib and try to picture what life will be like with another little one in there. It will be a while before we actually use the crib because I prefer to have baby sleep in the bassinet in our room for the first six months or so. Lucian slept in a crib in our bedroom for over a year, but partly because my father in law lived with us temporarily while he and mom were looking a new house to move here to Tucson.

Anyhow, those are my thoughts right now - what I'm feeling, what projects I'm working on at the moment.

Funny story I wanted to remember

Last night when I tucked Lucian into bed, I was still moving little things around. Nate had printed out a family photo of us and made a copy for Lucian so I put it up on the shelf with his stuffed animals where he could always look at it. After I put it on the shelf and bent down to give him a kiss and a hug, he said, "That's our family." I said, "Yes! That's right! That's our family." Then I kissed him and hugged him and he whispered, "the Happy Home People."

I all but fell over laughing because that is a line from an Express Flooring commercial that's always on TV.

Leave it to my kid to use an advertising tag line to make me smile.

Week 18 - Sonogram Today

Today, later this afternoon, we'll get a sonogram that will hopefully reveal the health and sex of our baby. When I was pregnant with Lucian during this part of the pregnancy, he was not willing to let us know he was a little boy for the 18 week sonogram. So, although I'm extremely excited to try to find out what the baby is, I won't be shocked if it decides to be shy. I'll just be agitated and hope we get another sonogram so we can find out later. I have little patience when it comes to this. I'm just too curious. It's not that I hate surprises — I like surprises if anyone can manage to pull them off — but I'm very, very nosey by nature so it usually doesn't work out.

One of the things I know they are going to be watching for is the baby's size. Lucian was a very large baby. If this baby is growing large quickly, it's going to lessen my chances for attempting a VBAC because my OB doesn't think my pelvic size can pass a large baby. Lucian got stuck and she thinks that may have been the cause. Part of the problem was complicated with Gestational Diabetes. I'm not sure when I have to take another glucose test, but I bet it's coming up soon. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm skeptical that I might have it because some of the symptoms include constant thirst and frequent urination — which I have been experiencing more lately.

It's hard to tell what is pregnancy-related and what is medicine related. I started taking Zoloft about 5 weeks ago to get a jump start on the postpartum depression I experienced last time. My OB suggested I start taking the meds now rather than wait until after delivery. I've always had issues with anxiety and depression so I figured I mind as well try to do something about it now so my kids don't suffer like I did with my own mom. It seems to be helping, but it's so hard to tell.

I went through a rough week a couple of weeks ago when one of my best friends lost her baby pre-term at 20 weeks. It really affected me negatively. I get very emotionally connected to my good friends and when they suffer a loss, I internalize it also. I just really, really hurt for her. It scares me because I just never knew anyone personally who had lost a baby that late in gestation. I know how common miscarriages are in the first trimester, and I kind of accept that, but the second, that really shocked me. It just makes me worry about my own pregnancy a little more than I might have, but I'm trying to relax a little more, especially now that my friend seems to be healing with her loss.

My mom is still not talking to me and that's still very upsetting. I did send her a Mother's day e-card and she acknowledged it to my sister, but she said nothing to me. Basically, I only ever get family updates from my sister now and she tries to be forthcoming and honest even if she knows it will upset me, which I appreciate. I've tried talking to my grandmother about it and she tries to sympathize, but she doesn't really want to get involved because she has her own set of problems with my mom, her daughter.

The female relationships in my family's history are horrible. It goes back as far as my great-great-grandmother. My grandmother's mother died when she was just nine so she was raised by her grandmother and they did not get along at all. My aunt, my grandmother's oldest daughter, left home when she was 16 and they didn't speak for many years. It wasn't until later in life that my aunt and grandmother finally became close again – best friends even. Then she sadly passed away at the young age of 62. My mom and my grandmom barely get along now. They tolerate each other at best. My mom says nasty things about my grandmom and it really makes me mad. I'm really close with my grandmom and I was also close to my aunt. It's mostly my mom that seems to stir the pot, but she'll never admit to that. It's ALWAYS someone else's fault.

Anyhow, had to get that off my chest because it kind of explains why I'm very nervous about finding out if we're having a little girl. I would love to have a daughter, but I'll always be apprehensive about my ability to have a good relationship with her because of my family history. I want to break the negative cycle and I think it's possible because I live out west now, away from the constant negative examples. My mother-in-law and my sister-in-law have a great relationship and I'm hoping it's one I can emulate. I have hope and several friends now have made some encouraging comments and that just helps me even more.

I don't know, I think maybe the Zoloft is helping. I'm hoping it will help with my confidence in helping to raise a little girl if that's the case. I'm not constantly being reduced to a puddle of tears at the oddest of times. I also feel a little more motivated now in the morning to get out of bed and get on with the day. For the past 3 nights, I've actually managed to fall asleep before midnight! Of course, then I wake up at 4 am to pee and then I'm up and can't fall back to sleep. But, things seem to be improving sleep-wise and I surely hope it continues!! I also feel a little less anxiety about leaving the house to do activities with Lucian at public places. I've taken him out on my own a little more and I've been feeling more motivated and confident to take him out in general and get out of the house. Now that he's approaching three, his whole world seems to be opening up to more opportunities and I'm feeling I want to embrace it more and more.

So far, I don't think I've gained any weight. It's hard to tell on my scale at home. According to my scale, I've lost a pound or two. I usually weigh myself in the mornings and my OB appointments are usually in the afternoon once I've eaten AND have a full bladder, so we'll see what happens later today. I'm trying not to be overly concerned about it because I'm really only supposed to gain 15 pounds anyhow. So, if I've made it almost half way in the pregnancy and not gained any weight, that's good I guess.

Truth be told, I am terrified of gaining weight. Reason being, the nerve compression in my leg. The more weight that sits on that nerve, the more painful it gets to the point of excruciating. The only solution for the pain is to lose weight. (I've also read about possible surgery and I may consider that later.) That's not really an option for me right now. I've been disappointed in myself for a long time now because I did not keep the weight off from Lucian's pregnancy. I had lost all the baby weight and then some by the time he was six months old, but it was mostly due to stress and being sick all the time because my immune system was compromised by the C-section. In hindsight, I should never have attempted to go back to work in an elementary school of all places. (Huge petri dish for a work environment, despite how much I loved my job.) When I decided to quit my job and work from home, and he started weaning, it all poured back on plus ten more pounds.

I was trying really hard to lose weight before we got pregnant but my problems with insomnia really made that difficult. Also, the joint and muscle pain with fatigue I experience has limited my ability to exercise. Since almost all my immediate family members have arthritis, I assume I must have some form of it. I've had repetitive stress injury symptoms from the time I was in my early twenties. I should have seen a doctor for all of this before getting pregnant, but I had lots of reservations about seeing a doctor. First being, my insurance plan sucked big time. I'm now getting medical assistance so that is no longer an issue, thank God!

It's no secret that the health care system sucks in this country. It's a never ending cycle. I was paying for insurance – the amount we could barely afford — but the policy really only would have helped me in the case of something really drastic, so I've never even picked out a primary care physician since I've lived here. My OBGYN was really the only provider I've ever needed since living here. I even purchased a maternity rider - thinking I was being the responsible American by paying extra for my insurance so that in the event I'd need another C-section, which I know my chances are high, that I would be covered. Well, turns out I got swindled by an insurance salesman who just told me what I wanted to hear when I thought I was asking all the right questions and doing all the proper research before signing on the dotted line. The maternity rider – that I had paid out several thousand dollars for over the course of almost 2 years – was only worth two thousand dollars and would ONLY cover a NORMAL VAGINAL delivery with NO COMPLICATIONS. Yeah, um, that's not me - I'm complicated. So, I had to scramble for a solution to get medical coverage over fear that the mounting medical bills would send us into bankruptcy.

What complicated things with our prior insurance was the fact that Lucian needs eye surgery. So we're potentially facing TWO surgeries before the end of this year. My C-section with Lucian cost around $40,000 dollars. Yes, that's forty THOUSAND dollars and that was when I had good insurance through my employer. We only paid $350.00 out of pocket to have Lucian at the hospital. So, you can imagine the stress I was under thinking how much it was going to cost us between a C-section and eye surgery with the private insurance that carried a hefty deductible plus 20 percent co-insurance!!

Luckily I was able to get Lucian onto KidsCare for a really low premium each month that doesn't carry a deductible and no co-insurance. It's been a major relief that are health insurance is more manageable and now I don't think I'll be so resistant to see a doctor for reasons other than prenatal care.

I did express my concerns about arthritis to my OB and she said the only thing they can test for and possible try to manage is rheumatoid arthritis. So, I may be getting a blood test for that today. Everything else will pretty much have to wait till after the baby is born and possibly after it weans from breast feeding.

One of my fears about seeing a doctor for my problems was that they might try and put me on a treatment plan with drugs that might compromise my fertility. Approaching "advanced maternal age" is not the time you want to be messing with drugs that could cause infertility when you want to have another baby before it's too late. So, I basically put my health on hold until after we're done having babies which, if this baby is a girl, will likely be soon. If it's a boy, we MIGHT try again for a girl. I just don't know how I'll feel. I love being the mom to a boy. It's great and I'm comfortable with the idea of a house full of boys. I'll just have to wait and see how I feel and if I can get over the feeling of wondering what life would have been like having a daughter.

Nate always teases me that they (the Davis family) come in packages of three. His family history is such that there have consistently been families with children in sets of three and most of them two boys and a girl. So, even if this is a boy we're having now, I wouldn't rule out having another just to see if we continue that trend. We'll just have to wait and see how I recover from the delivery and cross that bridge when we get to it.

More and more, I'm trying to learn to live day by day and not get so wrapped up in planning and worrying so much about the future and things I can not control. It's not easy and I'm not good at it, but I'm trying.

The Story of Stuff

Quick!

Think of a task that will take you 20 minutes to complete.

Now think of a task that will take you 20 minutes to complete that you don't really want to do right now.

Got one?

Good.

Now watch this video. It's important.

Visit www.storyofstuff.com to watch the video in its entirety.

If you don't have 20 minutes right now, just watch this preview and let it stew a little.

Gestation 2.0

Our family is pleased to announce something very exciting and here is Lucian to give you the special news!

We Found Nemo!
We just had our first sonogram and got to see the little sea monkey's heart beat and watch it float around. (I swear, it looked like a sea monkey!) It was a very special and exciting time for all of us. Lucian watched the monitor intently. The sonogram technician tried to explain it to Lucian and said, "See the little baby? It's swimming around in Mommy's belly like a little fishy!" Lucian was observant to point his little finger at the screen and exclaim, "Look! Nemo!" So now you know why we'll be nicknaming this baby "Nemo" for a little while. I laughed so hard and it took me a little while to regain composure so we could continue with the rest of the sonogram. (It doesn't work very well when your belly is moving around due to giggling.)

The sonogram printouts are now proudly hanging our our fridge. They all look identical and I wish the picture was clearer, but it turns out we're not as far along as the OB thought we were. Based on the measurements, the sonogram technician adjusted our due date from October 30th to November 9th. I'm still hoping for a Halloween baby though because second babies are usually earlier and if this pregnancy has the same complications as Lucian's then they would take the baby early anyhow. We'll just have to wait and see. (Something I'm not very good at!)

There isn't much to see in the photo, but seeing the heartbeat in action was enough to at least make it feel just a little more real. It's still very surreal. I thought maybe sharing the news might help with that. We're only 8 weeks and 5 days along (not 10 weeks like we originally thought) so it feels odd to share the news so much sooner than we did the first time around, but the sonogram technician said it was safe to share because there was movement and a good heartbeat.

Here is Nemo's very first baby picture!

According to the sonogram measurements, our little "Nemo" is 5.9 cm long. That's the length of my pinky so now I can't stop looking at my little finger and day dreaming just a little.

Standard Gestational Operating Procedure
I've been feeling very tired and have been trying harder to get more rest. That's why this blog and other social places have been quiet or dormant for so long. Lucian has been much more demanding of my time. With a new family member coming, I'm also trying to cherish more of our time together while it's still just him and us. We sleep in and snuggle more in the mornings because Pre School is just around the corner. (and because gestation is hard work!!) I know I'll never get these times back so I like to hold on to them just a little longer now.

It's also why I've been a little more stressed about finances, but I'm sure this is all normal. (I'll go into more detail about other things later.) Another reason I've been quiet is because I hate keeping secrets! I'm good at it, but I hate doing it! I was so afraid I would slip and spill the beans, so now that we've been to our first sonogram I feel a little better about letting the cat out of the bag.

It's still very early and things could go wrong, but after seeing it yesterday, there isn't any point in keeping it a secret any longer. Our family has known now for a couple of weeks. I suppose if something were to go wrong, I'd rather have more support than none at all. These feelings are all standard gestational operating procedure, I'm sure. I'm certainly a lot more relaxed about most things this time around but I think I'm much, much more tired!!

It's hard to imagine I was working full time the first time around. I don't know how I had the energy! Now that I'm a stay-at-home-mom, I have to say, it was nothing compared to working 24/7 for a busy toddler!! You can't call in late to a toddler who wants his breakfast N-O-W just because you'd like to try and hold on to your cookies.

Overall, we're very happy because we've been trying since October of last year, so this is very welcome news for us. I was just beginning to wonder how much longer it would take so I feel relieved since I'm not getting any younger! Luckily, I'll be delivering just before my 35th birthday! Whew!

Back to Blogging
I'm really hoping to get back into blogging about my life. I didn't keep a journal during my pregnancy with Lucian because I just didn't have the time and I was working full time. I really wished I would have because now, more than ever, is when I would really like to reflect on my past experiences to help give me a little confidence boost here and there. Not like I have any more time now, but there is a bit more flexibility so I'm going to give it a try. This blog will still be geeky in nature so it won't be a complete baby diary. I still have plans for other posts, but you know how it is these days, life first and then, if the urge sticks, then it might make it into the blog.

I might also try to write more about some of my past pregnancy and delivery experiences with Lucian. My delivery experience, to me, was very, very traumatic and I haven't yet found the strength or courage to write about it, but maybe it will come. Since almost 3 years has passed, I know I don't remember details like I did when it was happening to me and that's probably a good thing. Anyhow, I'm just going to have to try because writing is very therapeutic for me.

Gestation is hard work, but it's one of the most rewarding experiences a human can experience so I welcome the challenges to come!

Stay tuned for more updates and I hope you feel as blessed and lucky as we do.

Love Is...

My hand-made Valentine to you!
♡Melissa

Dancing for Hope

LDObamaDance from TheMacMommy on Vimeo.

The hope we had back on August 28th, during The Democratic National Convention, has paid off and we now have Barack Obama as our 44th President of the United States of America. Here is some home video footage from that time. We are overjoyed that Mr. Obama with his lovely wife and daughters are now our new Presidential family.

From our family living room to yours, here is our goofy son expressing his happiness at seeing Obama on TV at the DNC. That time seems so long ago and now the day has finally come to see the first of our hopes already being fulfilled.

Let's keep on giving our children a reason to dance and sing.

My Life. My blog. My rules.

I'm not taking my blog down, but I admit I had considered it for a few minutes after I got attacked by trolls who posted nasty comments here and other places. I have seen trolls on others' blogs, but never my own! I guess people are getting desperate. I've now received a spiteful email and been sent a friend request on FaceBook (most likely a trick based on the person's profile — much harder to trust anyone associated with this now!) One went as far as to pick on an older entry and the nasty comment was directed at my son.

That's where I draw the line.
______________________________________________

My comments are now moderated because I refuse to take any crap from anyone. Negative comments will be filtered and simply deleted from now on. I never had to do this before now and it's sad that it's come to this, but this is part of digital life so I am learning.

Thankfully, I'm still here.

Know why?

In addition to being supported by my wonderful husband, it's because a community of people I either didn't realize I had — or perhaps even took for granted — spoke up after I posted to twitter, my steam vent at times, that I was considering taking down my blog because a negative comment aimed at my son went over the line.

One friend even called me on the phone to make sure I was alright. Another friend emailed me with kind words and a link to some very thoughtful and motivating insight on the matter. Yet another friend, from across the pond, emailed me with words of inspiration and motivation to push on.

I am truly overwhelmed by the support and I am so grateful for everyone's encouragement!

Nobody puts Baby in the corner.










My microblog, serves as several different things to me. It is, among other things I haven't yet thought of, my: Personal Journal, Mini Baby Journal, Idea Storage, Think Tank, place to share ideas and thoughts, outreach for tech support, place to chat with other parents, Favorite Bar, Research Bank, News Reel, News Source, Macintosh Community, Social Media Community, Steam Vent, Comic Relief, place to help others and give back to the community, and especially tonight, it was a place to send a smoke signal.

I just figured that last one out. I didn't realize what had happened when I posted that and how it would affect others. I thought I was just venting but I realize now, I was really frustrated by a new and negative experience and wanting to pound on a shoulder I didn't think was there. Except, a shoulder WAS there and not one, but several! It's amazing how many people have experienced this same emotion and frustration and they have all found ways to deal with it. Then they turned around and shared their ideas with me through phone calls, emails, replies and direct messages.

So, I just wanted to say Thank You for the encouragement. You have no idea how much it means to me.

Sam's Club Photo Center - Thumbs Down

Update:

After seeing this post, one of my fellow blogging friends, who was one of the WalMart Moms, pulled some strings for me and got me in contact with upper management and they were able to resolve the problems. They were very good about it. It's just a shame it had to go there. What if I hadn't been a blogger with influential friends?

I'm glad they fixed the problem, were cooperative and apologetic. I'm still wary of using Sam's Club for their services around the holidays, but at least now I know I need to do this type of thing way far in advance. I'll try again sometime and try to provide an updated review if things have improved.

Today, on 1/12/2009, I spoke to Christina in Sam's Club customer service for the online division. She noted a "quality isssue" and "refund" along with investigating the mysterious $6.53 charge as well as why there was a $0.05 discrepancy between the invoiced and actual charged price for greeting cards I ordered for our 2008 holiday cards. Christina tells me she only sees 2 of the 4 online orders under my name in the system currently. These orders were placed shortly before Christmas and the day after. I have asked for a refund and that the mistakes be corrected at no additional charges. I'm currently awaiting a follow up on this call.

Until then, here is what I'd like to share:

Ordering Christmas gifts for my family this past year (2008) from Sams Club proved to be a truly disappointing experience. This was not the first time I have been let down by the Sam's Club Photo Department. In 2005, the Reading, PA location ruined my wedding photos and inconvenienced family members and myself in having to go back to the department to have prints corrected. Despite the negatives and compositions being correct, heads and other body parts were cut off on prints and digital files saved to CDs. Imagine getting a great shot of the Father and Bride dance only to get the photo back and the Father's head is cut off! Or a photo which had been correctly centered by the photographer and the print being returned with the feet cut off and a black bar at the top of the print! The experience was extremely unprofessional and a major disappointment to a new bride.

Now that I live and shop at a different Sam's Club — on the other side of the country, my recent experiences had been more positive. The online photo ordering and 1-hour pick up has been great. Although not perfect, the online uploading interface has been slightly improved from last year. I can use drag and drop directly from iPhoto into the Sam's Club Photo Center website using Safari.

I really enjoyed the experience when I used Sam's Club Photo Center Online for my Holiday Greeting Cards this past year. It was relatively easy and quick and I got them within an hour.

Instant gratification is very popular with me.

I even ordered a second set right away when I realized I was going to run out of cards. I didn't even have to do that part online as I was able to phone the re-order in since they still had my data in the system. The young man on the phone was even pleasant. (Once I could understand what he was saying when he answered the phone!)

In October I had ordered photo gifts in the form or a coffee mug and magnets to send to my Nana and she received them on her birthday and was completely delighted. After those experiences, I had nothing but a positive experience to expect for the holidays when I decided to order photo gifts to send to my family as Christmas presents.

I placed a total of four online orders and over to $150.00. (after taxes and shipping charges were tacked on.) Two of those orders were 1-hour pick ups at my local store to give to family here, and the other two were to be delivered to two different addresses out east in time for the holiday season. These were to be gifts the whole family could enjoy and I was excited to be able to have everything shipped to just 2 locations out east to be divied out among the family members when they were all together celebrating the holidays.

Everything was going smoothly until I went to place the fourth order to be delivered to a different address. I could get all the way through the ordering process but I could no longer get to the part where it would process the order and charge my account. There was no communication from the website that there were any problems or errors. Four times in a row it just sent me into a loop and I'd end up right back at the beginning again. Since I deal with computer "problems" for a living, I checked all of the usual computer/web related issues that could occur such as emptying the cache, reloading the page, logging out and logging back in and even switching web browsers. Nothing would allow me to place an order like I had done the previous three times in a row. So, I waited a day which prolonged the delay in getting these Christmas presents out to my family. This began my frustration and overall disappointment.

I still had no luck after a day, so I called and spoke to a customer service representative who told me that they were aware of the problems the site was having and that Fuji was working to resolve the issues. Huh, nice of them to let the online customer know! (An error message would have been nice.) She said that at the time I called, no photo department service personnel were available but that she would enter an encounter and someone would be calling me back.

I never got a call back. Good thing I didn't hold my breath.

I tried again to process the same order online. The Online Sams Club Photo Center never once communicated any problems or issues with the processing of orders. (Despite being told that "Fuji was on it.") Finally, out of desperation to get the gifts out for Christmas of the currrent year, I processed the order as a local pick up instead of having the items shipped directly to the relative. Even though I asked my family ahead of time, this was a huge inconvenience for my family members to go and have to pick up their own gifts on separate occasions as not all of the items were delivered to their local store at the same time. One of my relatives was even given poor treatment when he went to pick up his gift at the location. Not only was it not his fault that the gift wasn't delivered to him like it was intended, but then on top of it he was treated poorly by the staff!

We all know that the holidays are a stressful time, but shame on Sam's Club for using this as an excuse to dole out shoddy customer service all around.

As you may already know, photo printing and ordering services are big on my list of services and products I use and my product reviews for this have gotten lots of traffic. I was planning on reviewing Sams Club again this year to compare to the review I did last year. I was really hoping to be able to write up a positive review recommending Sam's Club as a reputable photo gift service. I am sad to say that I can not do that this year at this time.

Sam's Club Online Photo Center did not deliver for me this year.

Literally.

The local 1-hour pickup is handy and I will continue to use that service, but I will continue looking for something else to replace it since we are considering switching to COSTCO for our bulk purchasing. Not only might Sam's Club be losing a regular photo department customer, they might also be losing a regular store and vision department customer as well.

If people keep reading my reviews, they might even lose more customers. It could happen.

We'll see what happens and what other services I find this year to compare to theirs and how they stack up.

Of course, if you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment!

Here is a list of things Sam's Club can do to win me back:
If I don't hear back from them soon, this is part of what may go into a letter after discussing most of this on the phone already.

#1
I am disputing a charge on my checking account statement for $6.53 on 12/25 (transaction date) charged on 12/26 listed as "SamsClub.com" I do not have any receipts reflecting this charge and no record of it anywhere. (And I KEEP pretty good records.) I would like an explanation of this charge and a refund if it is found to be an error.


#2
I would like to be refunded $22.56 (the cost of the 6 magnets that were not properly produced.) Each magnet had a white line running down the right side. All, but 2 of the photos were different. The error was consistently reproduced on not only all 6 magnets, but my mother also received an envelope from the "Wal Mart Return Center" containing an additional 6 magnets and they all had the same error as well. I only placed an order for 6 magnets as the confirmation I received below reflects. I do not know why an additional 6 magnets were sent because they were not corrected.

The order needs to be corrected and re-shipped at no charge to the same address as the original order.

Thank you for placing your order with the Sam's Club Online Digital Photo Center. We received your order and will begin processing it soon. Your order information appears below for your review.Order Number: xxxxxxxxxxxx
Contact Information: xxxxxxxxxxxx
Payment Method: Card Number: Visa xxxxxx Authorization Number: xxxxxxxxxxxxx
12/21/2008
Order Details:
Qty Item Price
1 11 oz Coffee Mug @ $9.87 $9.87
6 Magnet (3x4) @ $3.76 $22.56
59 4x6 @ $0.0834 from complimentary prints $2.00
1 5x7 @ $0.34 $0.34
1 US Mail $20.50
Subtotal: $55.27
US Tax $3.32
Total $58.59
*All prices are in US dollars.
Delivery Information: xxxxxxxxx
Please allow 2-3 weeks to process gift orders and 2-4 days for prints. Shipping time applies after your order has been processed.
We will send you an e-mail when your order has been completed. To check the status of your order, click here.
(NEVER GOT ANY OF THESE EMAILS)

#3
On 12/20/20008 at location #6692 AZxxxxxxxx $11.35 was charged to my checking account on 12/22/2008 but the confirmation I received said the price would be $11.30 so I'm not understanding why the nickel difference. I would like that explained.
Thank you for placing your order with the Sam's Club Online Digital Photo Center. We received your order and will begin processing it soon. Your order information appears below for your review.
Order Number: xxxxxxxxxx
Contact Information: Melissa Davis
520-207-1815
Order Details:
Qty Item Price
1 Wishing you a Joyous Holidays & Happy New Year
pickup after 5:35 PM* on 12/20/2008 @ $10.50 $10.50
Subtotal: $10.50
US Tax $0.80
Total $11.30

#4
Please improve your website! The drag and drop uploader is STILL lacking from last year in both Safari and Firefox for the Mac. (Especially in Firefox 3 for the Mac.)

GET WITH THE PROGRAM!

Two words: iPhoto. Picasa.

Sam's Club really needs to take a look at the sales in Apple's laptop line. People like their photos and they like their photo gifts. I just worked with a client who used Apple's online photo services for ordering his photo gifts. One big reason was because I could not confidently recommend Sam's Club to him. That could have been a few hundred dollars in Sam's Club photo products that was lost due to lack of development for the Mac platform.

I really hope to hear back from Sam's Club — and soon. Right now I'm being nice even though I've taken a lot of crap from them. Finances are much much tighter now and I can literally no longer afford to accept anything less than perfection from services where I spend our ever shrinking budget. I hope Sam's Club as well as other places keep this in mind moving forward this year and in the future of our uncertain financial crisis.

What photo services do YOU enjoy? Drop me a line!

Steve and Apple Will Be Fine

There is a lot of hoopla surrounding the health of Steve Jobs and whether or not Apple will survive without him should he retire or become too ill to continue as CEO of Apple.

Steve will be just fine. I'm not really that worried since he wrote to me and told me he would be eating his veggies more often. He's been so busy running Apple that he hasn't had as much time as he'd like to spend with his family, so cut the guy some slack. I can certainly relate to that. I'm sure Steve just wants to sit in front of his 32-foot cinema display and crank out some iMovies and slide shows of his kids from the past few years he may have missed out on planning for Macworld.

DM me on twitter Steve, I'll tell you where you can mail to me your latest iDVD projects.

Just for fun, I'm dedicating this song to Steve Jobs. I'm sure he's probably got it in his iPhone already.



I've been a Mac user since 1990 and I don't plan on using anything else no matter who gives the Keynote tomorrow or the next time. I'm sure there will be more Keynotes or some other kinds of love letters to come; they just might not be delivered from a stage in front of a big screen with some dude holding a clicker in his hand. Come on now, Uncle Steve is savvy with the times. He knows he can just email me a link or put up an iTunes feed. I'll click it. The carbon footprint is so much smaller on that anyhow.

Afterall, it is The start of a new era.



Happy New Year

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and spent it surrounded by people they care about. Despite having the flu on Christmas day, I still managed to enjoy my holiday because I was surrounded by family and friends at all times. Being stuck in bed gave me a chance to take a break and reflect on all the people I'm grateful for in my life and how that number keeps growing.

There have been some setbacks along the way. We don't have a lot of money and I can't always get the things I want. That sucks, but I try to get over it and move on. Lucky for me, I don't need a lot of money to be with the people and get the things I need most in my life.

I don't want a pony, but an iPhone or a BlackBerry sure would be a lot of fun. I don't NEED either, but if I can somehow find a way to be resourceful, maybe my work will be rewarded and I can somehow find a way to justify the expense so it isn't just an additional expense. I believe I could grow my skills with a smart phone, I just have to figure out how to fit it in my lifestyle.

In 2009 my goal is to focus on the skills I have, to keep building on them and to keep being resourceful. I do not want to become obsolete.

How do you plan on keeping yourself from becoming obsolete this year?

I have tons of pictures and movies to comb through. Products and services to review and projects to produce. Content creation is in abundance and backlogged. I just need a clone who will manage my time more wisely than I've been able to.

2009 will be the Year of the Bootstrapping Mamma!

A Parody Was The Pill I Needed

Now THIS IS funny. Just what I needed to soothe my pain.
And you know how much I like boob jokes.



I hope we can move past this soon, but not before we learn some important lessons from it all. (And when I say 'we' I really mean 'me' but ya can't blame me for hoping for a larger collective.) I really wish someone would put an end to the original Motrin ad on YouTube. I mean, seriously — why hasn't THAT been pulled? (Just in case it has by the time I publish this post, as of now, it's still being linked to and it's got over one hundred thousand views.) Isn't it illegal to scrape it from the motrin.com site and post it to YouTube? I wish someone would explain to me why this is ok. Isn't it counterproductive for the same people who complained about stopping the original ad campaign to keep linking to it and promoting it? I used to think that there was a simple common goal: to possibly get the original ad removed or revised on the company's website and educate people about the misconstrued facts of babywearing. (The Sept. 30th ad campaign wasn't even popular before this past week but sure is now while it's on YouTube.) I just don't get how that got all messed up. I'm also still peeved about the people who bitched about the ad in the beginning who keep trying to milk it for their own selfish and personal gain. I am no longer linkbaiting anything that drives traffic towards the original ad or the people who stirred the pot and spoiled the stew. I'm even considering removing the links from my original post on the whole thing. I'm just talking about how I've allowed myself to feel about the whole experience and what I'm trying to learn about myself from it.

One annoying thing is that now we've got all sorts of "experts" spewing their psychobabble about the effects of the "mommy mafia" on marketing who then link to the Queenpins which pushes more traffic to their sites. I don't quite yet know just what to make of that whole bag of hurt. Maybe the "marketing analysts" are right. Maybe they're also for hire. It frustrates me though because of the perceived ill threats this poses to moms with blogs and the sincere business efforts they try to achieve through social media on their behalf. I'm attracted to the idea of moms having a say and maybe even getting compensated for their ideas about how marketing could be improved to make advertising more effective. I'm also kind of turned off though when we act like the market owes us something just because we're moms. I joke about it at times when something pisses me off and I feel like I can "threaten to blog about it" but I'm also part Italian and the whole "mafia" thing has always been a tongue in cheek thing with me.

I suppose it's only human for us to always look for some kind of a power trip to makes us feel worthy in situations where we feel our personal beliefs are being threatened. I have to wonder though — are we mommy bloggers (whatever you want to call it or not call it) so desperate for attention these days? The competition is really getting the best of us I think. (Present company included.) I used to think it was a nice community in which to belong. Moms promoting other moms just because we think each other are cool. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. Blogging with other moms used to be one big happy lovefest for me. It made me feel giddy and like I belonged to a group who accepted me even when I didn't shave my legs or put on a bra.

I'll be honest, I sometimes felt like I was exploiting the "#motrinmoms" situation by the couple of times I tweeted my blog post link or used the #hashtag to link myself to the conversation stream. I was excited at the prospect of commenting on another's blog to get a linkback in return. Oh the things we do for some traffic or to get noticed. This practice has been bred into us by the mommy bloggers who paved the way before it was a popular idea to have your own blog. They taught us the ways of the modern-day sewing circle. All the stitching of blogs together makes one collective group of moms with common goals and ideas.

My real intention of my original comment on the subject was to speak my mind on something I felt knowledgeable about and to then share that knowledge with others. (ok, this is the last time I'm going to apologize for myself.) But I couldn't leave it at that. I was too proud to let my comment — my content— to sit idle on another's blog who was getting attention. I don't want to just give my ideas away when I've got a stale post on my own blog just hanging there. The thoughts belong to me and I may want to revisit these thoughts in the future when I feel the need for reflection. When I began to copy my own comment and post it on my own blog, I thought about a way to introduce it. Then I thought it was a good opportunity to post on something I was passionate about which also brang back fond memories of my son from before I even had a blog. For so long I had been wanting to post something about my earlier parenting experiences for my son's portion of the "baby log." My blog is mostly about preserving my memories of my life including the people, experiences and philosophies I've had during my lifetime.

I also begin to wonder about this whole blogging for "business" scheme I've been thinking about getting in to. I'm trying to be more careful now. It's hard in this day and age of the modern-day-depression "economic downturn." The pressure to be an entrepreneur and push for self promotion to get by and rise above the competition out there is immense. I wonder if the stress of it all is starting to turn people into something they wouldn't normally be.

The more we dedicate, the more we medicate.
What the hell is in this water we're drinking?
If it is not laced with pride then it is tainted by greed.

All of these experts but no one to self mediate.
Where do we draw the line before blinking?
If we keep on wanting to belong we will always perceive the need.

It's not good enough to just be a stay-at-home-mom and especially when you have already started a career before choosing to stay at home to raise your family. I have found the stress to be overwhelming at times. I feel I still have to prove myself. I have to prove that I'm good for more than just changing diapers and cleaning toilets. Especially, since I have a college degree, I have to prove it to myself that I'm not letting it go to waste. We had to take out a second mortgage on our home to money launder our own debt, the bulk of which was my college loan. I feel so insanely guilty about that and I punish myself by allowing myself very few privileges in life. If I'm not working hard all the time, I don't feel worthy.

Despite the fact that I give great hugs, mend broken hearts, listen to troubles and dry tears, make things by hand and enjoy helping others for nothing in return — I still feel guilty for not doing enough.

You have to prove yourself to stay at home moms if your work out of the house and if you're a stay at home mom you have to prove you're just as active as a mom who works full time AND raises a family. I don't see where there is a win here. I've done BOTH now and BOTH sides have their merits. I decided to stay at home for many reasons. One of which was because the money wasn't enough to keep me slaving away at my previous full time job. I enjoyed the job very, very much, but the expectations and bureaucracy killed it for me. It's hard to say, but I'm inclined to think that a very LARGE amount of money would have been required to keep me punching someone else's clock, even at a job I could stomach. If I were making the equivalent of above and beyond mine and my husband's salary combined, I would have been harder pressed to quit and that's why I can understand the plight of the "working mom." Lucky for me I wasn't so embedded in my job at the time that I felt a sense of obligation to keep it. I knew I was easily replaced — not my efforts or ability — but me as a warm body to fill a slot that wasn't given a whole lot of priority. In other words, in my situation, I feel like I could always go back to a similar job or even a different job and that staying wasn't going to change that fact. After having so many different jobs, it's hard for me to feel any sense of loyalty for any one particular place. Take me or leave me. I'm an outstanding worker and if you compensate me and treat me well, I'll bend over backwards for you. But if you try to micromanage me or cheat me out of my worth, then there are other things I can do.

One skill I have that no one really ever thinks of putting on a job application is the ability to live on unemployment, still pay on my debts and take care of myself. I know how to hunker down and live within my means. I don't mind eating macaroni and cheese with tuna out of a can. I work to make a living doing something that I love. If you expect me to work to live, then I can make working livable, but not lovable or lasting.

I'm frustrated with myself for getting sucked in to what turned Twitter into a major soap opera. I have been trying to take a break from Twitter for the past couple of days now. It hasn't been easy, but I am trying to focus my attention on other things now. I do miss the way it used to feel to me. When people started using it for selfish promotion and to say nasty things to each other, it became tainted. It was like a bar fight broke out and now I'm not sure I want to go back to that bar. I think I've actually reached a point of burnout on it.

A couple of my friends have experienced this burnout too so I know I'm not alone. For me, Twitter is like the Cheers of online networking like AOL chat rooms used to be. Have you ever read the lyrics to the Cheers theme song? No? Well, you're in luck! You know you wanna. AOL chatrooms lost their appeal when the meat market and pr0n spambots took over. I fear Twitter might soon suffer a similar demise, but I really hope not. I know Twitter seems like a really powerful force to be reckoned with and people are claiming that companies will now be shaking in their boots about what affect it will have on marketing, but anything seems powerful enough when you live in a bubble. It's really easy to get sucked in to Twitter like it's your little world. Sometimes that makes it harder to be more objective.

I'll probably get back into it soon, because I still love it for all the great feedback I get when I have a question about something technical or feel like being silly geeky. I also do like to use it as a mini baby log by posting little #hashtagged thoughts about my son throughout the day and archiving the RSS feed on it.

If my blog posts aren't in the form of a personal journal entry to myself or a baby log about my son, they are usually in the form of a review, tip or promotion for something I enjoy and want others to know about. So, I'm going to keep reminding myself that this blog is for ME and these are MY feelings whether I'm right or wrong or just passionate but unsure.

Now, it's time to laugh about it, dammit!
Aaaay! Fuh-gettaboutit! You jes tell em' TheMacMommy told ya – iz all gonna be alright! Oh-KAY? sheesh. Fuh-gettaboutit! You should lissen to your own motherboard. Ya know? Deep down. Be true to yaself. Ay-ite?

The Scarlet Blog

Don't read this. Really. I swear a lot and offend people. Mostly myself. Way too much scrolling involved. You don't have time to read this, trust me. Move on. You'll never forgive me if you don't.

Dear Blog,
I like lemonade. Do you like lemonade? I was hoping that by posting about the whole Motrin ad thing that I might be able to take something negative and turn it in to something positive. Oh silly me. Silly mommy blogger. What were you thinking? The whole thing has gotten so out of hand now and it's got me so pissed off at the Internet that I don't even have twitter open. Yes. It's that bad right now.

The whole "thing" whatever the hell this thing is — it's like a rash or something and I'm all worked up over it. I am so guilty when it comes to rubbernecking on the web. I subjected myself to reading all of the post shit-slinging and allowed myself to get worked up about it. I seriously thought about deleting my entire blog over some hurtful, hateful things people have said. Seriously. I am so close right now because some of the things were said by people I respect and would consider a friend. Maybe they are right and that's what bugs me.

The main reason is because I am so sick and tired of the online drama and my inability to not take part in it at times. Being snarky is a huge weakness of mine. I don't have a life, so I hang out online where I feel social and can commiserate with others. It usually makes me feel good. It usually makes me feel fulfilled. Until lately.

That's just one reason. Another is that if I hear or read more person say "must have a lot of time on her hands or nothing better to do than blog or tweet about it" or "wasting her time while there are more important things to do or talk about" — let's just say, if you come back here and get a 404 error or the page is empty, you'll know what happened.

They say if the shoe fits, buy another pair. Oh wait. No, sorry, that's what my mother says. She has a lot of shoes.

I don't know why I'm taking all of this shit so personally, but I am and I have to somehow come to terms with it and hope that I can get past it soon. Maybe I should go scrub my toilets. Maybe that would make me feel better. More like a true woman. Maybe washing the dishes would make me a more productive person in society and help to fulfil my obligation on this earth better than writing a blog, designing a website, trying to keep up in technology trends, because, you know vacuuming my carpet right now will keep me employable in this hell hole of an economy, won't it? When has learning anything done anyone, especially women, any good?

I don't know why I feel so guilty about posting on it. I still feel the same about most of what I wrote, but yet I've considered deleting it all. I thought I was trying to be fair and balanced. I thought I was trying to help a cause. I thought I was being passionate about supporting something I believed in when it came to babywearing and pointing out that dads do it too. I thought I was helping others and being supportive — of even those with whom I disagree.

All this because someone asked me to check out a blog post and comment on it and I bit. I bit hard because I was pissed that an ad was mocking the practice of babywearing. I bit for the same reasons outlined by a response from Babywearing International. It all started with one comment on another blog that, at the time, I was passionate about. At the time, I was thinking, it's one little ad on one company website. It's not like it was a TV commercial being aired at prime time. The damage was all the same though and moms all across the world started using online communications to comment back. It spread like wildfire, just like the fires close to LA just one night prior.

I watched it unfold and was immediately addicted to it like a drama on TV. What will happen next? Who will pick up on it? Will anyone "internet famous" comment on it? All of the sudden I felt like I was part of a community taking action to send a message to defend attachment parenting practices.

What did I get out of it? Well, the ad did get pulled and that made me feel satisfied and everyone could have left it alone then. That didn't happen. All of the sudden the "mommy blogger" and "women blogging" community turned inward on istself. The ad, even though it got pulled, ended up on YouTube where it could very well live permanently. Is anyone talking about copyright infringement in the thread? No, instead they are all too busy bashing one another and turning the whole thing on its side.

So now what exactly did we accomplish again? Oh yeah, traffic to our own blogs and a negative social stigma.
Thanks but no thanks. Now I feel completely unsupported. Ironic, isn't it?

I don't question what I wrote quite as much as why I even write at all now.

I mean, there are more important things in life than a blog according to so many new "authorities" on the web who obviously know way more than me. Like Darfur and the economy and, oh yeah, I could be cleaning my house to make it spotless every effing second of every effing day during nap time or whenever my son is having his play time.

Wanna play guess who's blog or post I just read?

I write a blog that talks about my personal experiences of being a a stay at home mom who is trying to raise a healthy, loving, productive member of society in her child, while trying to learn more about managing a tiny consulting business and God-forbid I should use my brain instead sit on my fat ass and eat bon bons all day long. And for that I guess I'm just one of those stupid, bitchy, dramatic mommy bloggers who has too damn much time on her hands and wastes time bitching about unimportant things in life. Maybe I should go hump a tree after I plant a new one.

Never mind the fact that I struggle with constant depression and anxiety and that writing is a form of therapy for me. Never mind the fact that it will be three years since the last time I smoked a cigarette and that spending time online keeps me from smoking or hanging out at a bar. Never mind that I'm trying to be a better person by not swearing on my blog, by trying to rise above it all. Well, shit. Not tonight anymore. I'm pissed and in the mood to just be honest with myself right now.

I'll probably get chicken shit in a day or two and delete this all anyhow but right now it feels good to pound on the keys instead of my lungs and liver.

Never mind the fact that I work hard for my family managing the house, finances and communications and everything else that being M-O-M means. Does it ever occur to some of these assholes that documenting personal journeys in life IS important and takes time but is a worthy investment?

Yes. It IS worth losing sleep over. I'll sleep when I die and by then it will be too damn late to write.

Some people are just miserable pricks and don't deserve their own life scrapbook. (Especially people who have a year for their handle. I wish he'd go back to living in that time and leave the rest of us the hell alone.) I for one, think my child, my family and my interests are important enough to write about and share with others who want to connect. It's not like I live in the middle of the effing desert or anything almost completely isolated from friends and family most of the time. Oh wait. Oops. It is, sorry almost forgot.

Maybe I should just take some antidepressants and go mop the kitchen floor and shut the eff up. (No offense to people who are on antidepressants. I'm happy for you, sincerely I am. But I don't want to do it right now - too chickenshit. Maybe not until I'm done writing this post.)

All of the sudden the term "mommy blogger" is a dirty word.
Just paint a big ol' red letter M on me now.

It's the new whore of the Internets. There are moms who blog — who openly talk about parenting and their kids in one form or another on their blog or vlog — that don't want to be labeled as such and fiercely defend themselves as not wanting to be associated with the term. That's been going on for some time and now I see why. I have recently seen some nasty fur flying, cat scratching and flinging of poo at play dates. It is not becoming and now my biggest fear is that I may have contributed to some of it in some way.

I'd like to buy a vowel now, Pat.

If there is one thing I have learned from this experience, it's that the bandwagon is not an air-ride equipped with cruise control.

I'm not sure how long this post will survive the ride since I'm not wearing my seat belt right now. It's a crash test dummy for the time being.

Time for some Tylenol PM which is as close to taking antidepressants as I'm getting just yet.

P.S.
It's probably a good idea to avoid posts with the tags listed below. You never know what you're going to get on that filter.

May Cause Mild Discomfort

And you still decided to read this!? Hey, you're my kind of people.

Alright, alright. I just have to say something. I've been thinking about this now long enough to convince myself that I'm not just shooting this off the hip, but when you're passionate about something, isn't that what blogging is for? If not, then I give up.

I got sucked into the whole Moms Against Motrin thing. (That's what I'm nicknaming it for now and I don't mean that to sound derogatory, just don't know what else to call it right now so read hear me out first.) No, I'm not going to link to the drug's site because I'm hoping that soon the subject of this case won't even be available anyhow. Besides, plenty of great blogs are linking to it and providing some nice documentation without doing the bidding of selling the product.

Premise
Let me just say up front, I think it's all a worthy cause but I fear things can get out of hand quickly. I believe that even bad publicity is still publicity. I don't want to contribute to the problem but be a part of the solution. Some in the conversation stream have been quick to suggest a complete boycott. I do not believe that boycotting the company is the solution. Maybe the company does good things in other areas in this was an oversight on their part that can be rectified. Here is an article that offers some insight on boycotting.

I do not use the product advertised. It is overpriced in my opinion and the generic version works just the same for me.

Proposed Solution
I would like to see the ad removed and hope that theirs as wells as other marketing teams learn a lesson from this. I am attracted to the fact that a group effort such as people using social media tools like twitter and blogs to get that task accomplished seems viable. I would like to think that I, as a consumer and advocate, have a voice and would like to invoke my right to use it.

Conclusion
I would like to advocate for methods of child rearing, used but not limited to Attachment Parenting like "baby wearing" and I can only hope that this negative event will shed some light on the subject for new parents considering it. My husband and I used a baby carrier and we feel it had very positive and effective results. I have my wise, dear cousin to thank profusely for giving us our Baby Bjorn as a gift. We never considered wearing our son as a fashion accessory but as a necessity for traveling and soothing in general.

Here is one photo of us when Lucian was just 8 weeks old. Wow. Where did the time go?


Now that you've read the disclaimer, here is my version of the low-down:

The advertising agency responsible for creating ads for the makers of the drug Motrin put out an ad on their website and it rubbed a lot of parents, mostly moms, the wrong way. Not even their own product is going to soothe the bemoaning from many angles this ad campaign has invoked. The ad is in the form of a movie clip which consists of a woman reading a script that matches in cadence with coordinating and artfully-placed typography that flash across the screen along with two-dimensional graphics.

In the opinion of mine as wells as many others, the ad suggests, by use of voice inflection and tone along with classic advertising techniques, that 'wearing your baby is a fad and causes undue pain and discomfort so if you're going to be ridiculous and put yourself into that situation, you should purchase our product.' Certain words used certain ways make it sound like they really don't stand behind baby wearing and they misconstrue the facts about the practice.

The ad attempts to guilt-trip the consumer into buying the product by indirectly insulting the consumer for thinking they are educated in trendy new parenting practices. Not many would dispute that new parents easily fall victim of ads because they are stressed out about making the right decisions for their new baby. This is classic advertising technique when they try to convince the consumer of a need they don't really have and it works especially well on already guilt-ridden new parents. [For example, if you choose to wear your child in a carrier the correct way and don't have any preexisting back pain issues, why would you need this product? You wouldn't, but damn if they don't make it all sound bad anyhow. Not sure about you, but I don't always think this logically when sleep deprived in the first few months of parenting.]

Recently, I learned from several of our doctors, emergency room as well as pediatricians, that ad campaigns for fever reducers have trained parents into over-medicating children to bring down fevers under 107 degrees Fahrenheit. Just take a look at the recent recalls for children's Tylenol products. Several doctors have now told us that by medicating a fever early on, we're actually keeping the child sicker for longer because we're not allowing the fever to do its job in making the child better faster. Drug companies would rather you spend more money on their products instead of letting nature take its course. My mother still finds that hard to believe, but after close to 40 years of being marketed to, I can understand why.

The ad in question for this particular drug, Motrin, has sparked major controversy and it blew up virally on Twitter and in the blogosphere last evening and early into this morning. So much so that Twitter actually choked a couple of times! (Not sure if #motrinmoms is the cause, but it's a funny coincidence.)

I posted a comment on Shake the Salt which is where I first read about it. Here is my initial reaction comment after Dave Taylor told me about it.
(By the way, Dave, I still like you even if I don't completely agree with you. You're a good guy!)

ok. I bite. I’ll even pick the meat off the bone. When it comes to baby wearing, I didn’t much, but my husband did. According to him, the ad isn’t necessarily offensive, but it is opportunist and inaccurate. I agree except I believe the ad also takes a low blow to attachment parenting practices like baby wearing and encourages the bias we constantly face. I didn’t wear my baby because my back couldn’t handle it, especially not after my stomach muscles had been cut to get my son out via C-section. I know a thing or two about taking ibuprofen for pain — and lots of it. (and I didn’t take Motrin mind you because the generic version costs less and works the same, so you can #suckit Motrin.)

I think the part that gets my goat is the snarky/snooty tone or attitude that the narrator seems to have when reading the script. It would have been one thing if she had said “baby wearing, if not done correctly, can be painful so we got your back.” No, instead, she goes on to belittle it in her tone and manner of speaking. Seems I’m not alone in this, so I can’t be that far off.

I worked many years in advertising so I tend to be even more critical of ads than most. Maybe this is an American movie culture bias, but I didn’t appreciate the word “schwing” used as one of the made-up names for other sling products. Perhaps the ad just wasn’t properly tested or else they would have known that “schwing” is a sexual reference. I felt compelled to mention this since it hasn’t been too long since breastfeeding was attacked by Bill Maher and I still feel the sting of that one. But that’s just me.

I highly recommend reading the transcript and looking at the words that are given emphasis. The psychology of this ad is clearly trying to play to the consumer’s ego. “What about me?” Nothing like trying to guilt you into purchasing their product. Aren’t moms and dads bombarded with enough guilt during the whole parenting experience? What’s a little more? Advertising most always tries to convince you of a problem you didn’t know you had.

This advertising is NOT about bringing awareness to baby wearing or attachment parenting and the aches and pains that might be part of the process. If anything, it’s a tongue in cheek way of ripping on it and THAT is the part I find irresponsible. The makers of Motrin aren’t horrible, they are just like many other ad campaigns who prey on “that demographic” who might be considering baby wearing.

This is a stretch, but I have to say it. Since Motrin costs more than generic brand, maybe you can afford it by not purchasing a fancy schmancy baby sling. After all, just where are your priorities you crazy baby-wearing parents! Doesn’t your back pain come first? Why would you dare to consider wearing your baby in a carrier if it’s so painful. Oh yeah, because “it’s a good pain, for your kid.” Well, if that’s the way you crazy baby-wearing moms choose to be, you better have some Motrin on hand because you’re gonna need it. My opinion is that the Ad Agency for Motrin is ethically irresponsible for playing with this idea because it’s negative propaganda against attachment parents or “fashionable moms” who choose to wear their babies as a necessity — not an accessory.

Lastly, the video player in the ad is wonky. Turn-off. There is no clear indicator of when it’s finished the loading process. I fumbled with it to get it to work, but others might not (as noted in the original blog post).

1. Don’t hate Motrin, be pissed at the ad agency who didn’t properly test this ad.

2. Remember, even bad publicity is still publicity. You’re selling Motrin right now.

3. Spread the word about how good baby slings and carriers really are and what your experience is with them.

4. Buy generic ibuprofen and take some like I’m going to right now.

1. 
   

My Personal Experience with Baby Wearing
In the beginning, when babies are little, you have them in the carrier face forward and the back of the carrier helps to support their bobbly head and neck. They sleep so much better when they can feel the warmth of a body and hear your heartbeat. This is a FACT that the ad tries to dismiss.



Baby Wearing is not only for moms. My husband absolutely glowed whenever he wore his son close to his heart. It gave me a much needed break after carrying our son for nine months of excruciating nerve compression and pain during my pregnancy. One of the biggest benefits was that since I breastfeed, the baby wearing for Daddy gave him a chance to bond and negate that helpless feeling a lot of new fathers have. At first, I wondered why he was so eager to be the baby wearer all the time and then we went out to a museum for the first time and I understood. When I was pregnant and fully showing, people would always smile at me when we went anywhere. When Nate was wearing Lucian, he got to get all of that attention. (I kinda felt like chopped liver and it helped me to empathize with my husband more.) He always had a smile plastered across his face whenever we went anywhere because he always wore Lucian so proudly. It was not a fashion statement at all but more so a well-adjusted new father because of the ability to bond better, feel needed and publicly show caring and affection for his new child.



Baby slings and carriers are a great help in traveling and going places. I can not imagine how we would have done it sanely without one. We have traveled up and back to Flagstaff without a stroller which saved room in our trunk for everything else (ten hours of driving). We have flown across the country and back several times with just simple luggage like a backpack on me and the baby on his daddy in a carrier. We didn't have to check a stroller and lug it around. Whew!

Don't Waste Your Time and Money on the Expensive Brand-Name Pain Pills
So, here are some links to some nice baby carriers and slings and people who promote them that I thought of off the top of my head. There are many, many more. You can also find them at second-hand shops. Buy one as a gift for an expecting friend or hand yours down if you're no longer using it. If you know of any more, please link to them on your blog and in twitter and help promote the positive effects of baby wearing and other practices of Attachment Parenting. I don't know a whole lot about slings personally but I would love to use one the next time we have a baby. If you know of a great sling you love, please let me know in a comment. I'd really appreciate that!

Baby Bjorn
DadLabs: How to Wear a Baby Bjorn
DadLabs: About Baby Bjorn
Snugli by Evenflo
Maya Wrap

Several blogs are offering linkbacks and traffic pushing in an effort to bring about awareness. I support that and wish I had the time and energy to link to all of the posts that keep showing up but several people are working on culminating it all together to attain a solution and my hope is that they get the ad pulled and bring about awareness to baby wearing and Attachment Parenting and similar parenting styles. Who knows, maybe stock in baby carriers and slings will go up and it will help the economy in one small way.

It's worth a try and there is only one way to find out.