Melts My Heart

This past weekend, Lucian said something that just melted my heart and I never want to forget it.

Nate and I were getting ready to go out on a date, thanks to our friends to offered to babysit for us. We have been trying to "date" more regularly now because, well, it's good for us. When you have little kids, it's really hard to find time for yourself let alone with your spouse. It feels good to take time out to shave, dress up and apply makeup or perfume once in a while.

I was sitting on the edge of our bed putting my earrings on. I had just finished most of my hair, makeup and put on some new scented moisturizer. I was feeling pretty decent about the outfit I had picked out.

Lucian was standing in the doorway staring at me. Sometimes he stares off into space like we all do, but this time he was watching me intently.

I looked over at him after a little while and he said to me,

"Mommy, I'm staring at your because you look so beautiful! And you smell so gooooood!"

Doesn't that just make you melt? I told him thank you very much and that his compliment made me feel so good.

He truly is the little boy of my dreams.

Then, Keagan barged into the room and proceeded to claw at my top and demanded to be nursed. That child has not met any cleavage he didn't like! Ah well, he won't always be a boobie boy — someday he'll wean and I'll miss it or he'll chase other girls around! I suppose I'm doing them a favor? ;)

I love to be needed and I love to be loved.

A few other little things of note from Lucian are some words he's made up that I think are just too cute.

(1) He calls hand sanitizer "hanitizer." Makes sense to me!
(2) I asked Lucian to get a pizza out of the upright freezer out back (yes, we keep our freezer, washing machine and dryer outside of the home here in the desert where those things just heat up the house unnecessarily!)

When he came back in, he said,

"Mommy, I brought the pizza in from the freezerator."

Freezerator — get it? Freezer that looks like a refrigerator = Freezerator.

Yep, that's my Lucian!

For Those About To Rock October, We Salute You

Are you thinking pink?
This past month, a few of my friends and relatives have given birth to baby girls. You know who you are: Congratulations!! (now stop reading my blog and get back to resting!) A few more are waiting to find out if they'll be registering for pink things. It's all very exciting. It's also reminding me of something very important.

I'm thinking about pink lately, not only for my own good, but for their little futures that are just beginning. You see, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. In honor of this, I'm making my personal blog pink and posting some links that will hopefully bring about awareness for this horrific disease that affects too many people we know, love and care about.

I'm also posting this photo of my rack

because it rocks and I hope it's a reminder to you and your loved ones to do your self-breast exams each month! Have you checked today?


Stop reading and do it now. Go ahead. I'll wait.


Good. Thanks.

These knockers have now fed two handsome little boys over the past 4 years and counting. I'm pretty proud of that. I worked very hard at it and I deserve to be proud. Breasts are amazing body parts and they should be respected, protected and revered. Breasts are fabulous and functional! Don't let breast cancer jeopardize them — not mine, yours, hers or his! (Men can get breast cancer too. So you dudes need to stop gawking enough to pay attention to your own health!)

(Did you know August is Breast-feeding Awareness Month?)

It would be devastating if I ever lost these to breast cancer, so I'm constantly checking and trying to be self-aware. I have a few family members who have had different types of cancer so my risk is a bit elevated.

Do you know if you're at risk?
I urge you to visit the National Breast Cancer site and register for an Early Detection Plan. I did it. It's fast and easy. It's also a good way to set up some reminders to do your exams.

Click to Donate
I'm serious. All it takes is a click, or two or seven. Tell your friends.

Donate & Get Involved @ Komen.org

Thanks for taking the time to remember and remind. Go tell your friends!

Facepaint Fun

Yesterday I took the boys to the Tucson Reptile Show where Lucian got his face painted. This time last year I tried to paint his face for a Halloween costume and he wanted no parts of it. My how much changes in a year!!

Funny how life has a way of changing things up on you. I always envisioned playing makeup and dressup with a little girl someday.

Up till now I was kind of struggling with what to do when my sons ask if they can wear makeup. Now that he digs facepainting, I have a new way to repurpose old makeup.

Next, Lucian is going to paint a snake on my leg while Keagan is napping. I'm so glad he's enjoying this craft. It's great for fine motor skills and creativity.

Do you think the moms of Mötley Crüe members thought the same?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Editor's Note: Blogger Mobile FAIL - I tried using the mobile email version of Blogger to post this entry a few days ago and it screwed it up and only posted a portion. Posterous seems to hand mobile blogging via email so much better!]

To Imagination and Beyond

Lucian has finally watched Toy Story 1 and 2.
He loves to pretend he's Buzz Lightyear and "gracefully fall" off the couch.

This is Lucian's home-made Buzz Lightyear costume.

Forget the game. The box is always the best part!

Sometimes I Think I Would Blog More if I Didn't Have to Come Up with A Fancy Title Each Time

Do you know what I mean?

Blog posts SHOULD have a title.

Emails SHOULD have a subject line.

Neither of them HAVE to, but I'd feel like I didn't brush my teeth after eating tuna fish if I didn't do it.

I think Twitter has spoiled me.

I think Twitter has conditioned me.

I think Twitter and Facebook have programmed me to post in shorter bursts and I like it.

It's like burning your bra.

Sometimes, I cheat on Twitter with Facebook. They say size doesn't matter, but sometimes I just need a few more characters.

What the hell is Twitter? It's still a best-kept secret to many. When people ask, I change the subject and wish my answer could be, "If you have to ask, you wouldn't understand." Reason being, I still believe in "ask three before asking me" in that; if you really want to know about something — go check it out for crying out loud! If you sincerely tried it, you might better understand it.

A lot of things in life are like this when you think about it. We always condemn what we don't understand. I try NOT to do that. I'm not always successful, but I do try. I wish more people would.

I think this might be why Facebook is easier to use than a "traditional" (if there is such a thing by now) blog. I just wish there were less pillow fights, farms, and fishbowls. I suppose it's all relative. People complain that there is no substitution for talking with people face to face, in the flesh. I maintain that time wasted on Farmville would be better spent planing a REAL garden. I don't see how "time wasted" socializing with people all over the world using social networking tools like Skype is wasted at all. I only see what there is to gain. I suppose if you're shooting up heroin, smoking and drinking yourself to death while doing it, then it's a waste. Perhaps you can sell your farm before you OD? I don't know.

I miss "traditional blogging," but many times it feels like no one cares, has time, been there, done that.

I don't like feeling like I've reinvented the wheels I'm spinning.

I do like original thought, but so many of my thoughts right now are fleeting.

My best blog posts, the ones that would get the most traffic, happen while I'm in the shower, on the toilette, driving, nursing, changing diapers, feeding the baby, waiting for the school bus, during sex, while listening to podcasts, while reading other blogs....

wait...

while listening to podcasts?!!!!

err, I mean....no, not during sex. I was just kidding.

I don't have sex, silly.

Well, ok, if I DO start having more sex, it will mean that my husband has read this.

If my husband reads this and I DON'T have more sex, well, then, I guess I'll have twenty more minutes to myself to blog more often.

Brotherly Love

...because brotherly pestering just doesn't have quite the same ring to it

More Blogging Toys - Adding Audio

Right now, I'm using the Dragon iPhone app called Dictate to record my voice and transcribe it into text. (I tried this before, but it's since been updated) Next, I'm going to copy and paste that text into an e-mail that I'm going to compose using the Voice Memo app so that I can also attach an audio file to the text for this post.

The Dictate app did ok, but I had to come back and manually edit most of the text here on the iPhone to correct the grammar. I thought perhaps the update would be an improvement but it still stops recording every so often. In the time it took me to speak it and then edit it all, I believe I could have hammered it out on the iPhone keyboard faster and more efficiently.

Finally, I'm going to post this email to Posterous which will in turn, post to my Blogger blog, facebook, Twitter, friendfeed, etc.

What I'm most curious about is what will become of the audio recording I've attached. Last time it didn't work but that last post went FUBAR anyhow. Let's see if the audio file attaches this time.

  
Download now or listen on posterous

Testing an audio snipit.m4a (142 KB)

I also went into my facebook Notes application settings and tried removing my blogger rss feed. I didn't like the result. It seems that instead, I need to remove the Posterous autopost from facebook so that wall posts are not duplicated. If I just leave the blog feeding the notes and the notes feeding the wall, I think that might make the user experience more positive so they won't have to leave facebook to read my blog. Only problem with that is my blog traffic stats then take a hit -- which isn't a huge deal to me since I primarily use facebook to keep in touch with friends & family. It's just not something I'd recommend for a business or professional brand. I suppose it all depends on where you pull your stats from and which services you like best.

Play It Again, Sam
Now, let's also see if I did html formatting, tagging and signature removal correctly!

Posted via email from TheMacMommy

Edit: Live Mobile Blogging with Posterous

Now I'm testing out how to make edits to a post by forwarding the original email from my Sent folder. I'm guessing I could also use copy & paste.

I wonder who can see these emoji I'm using with the iPhone app?



In this test, I'm trying out the tagging feature. Hard to tell in the instructions if I need double (( )) or just single ( ). I suppose only one way to find out.

In the subject line should it be:

(tag: tinkering, random thoughts)

         OR

((tag: tinkering, random thoughts))

If this post shows up without tags then I'll know what I did wrong.

 Nope. I did it wrong I guess. Now I'm trying it with double (( )).

Can I use HTML code within the text to make a word <b>bold</b>? Let's see.

<b>Yay! It works!</b>

Here's another thing I'm tinkering with. Trying out different ways to add multiple photos to posts. I know there is the PicPosterous app, but what if I also want to edit the photo using the PS Mobile app? [Link: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/photoshop-com-mobile/id331975235?mt=8 ]

Here is an example of a photo I snapped the other day using my iPhone. Within the iPhone's interface I can take this photo and edit it using the PS Mobile app, save it, then using copy & paste to post

BEFORE

and AFTER shots

How to get iTunes store links for apps to post like I did above? Use the "Tell a friend" feature in the App Store app like so:

Word to the wise: don't address the email until you're really ready to send it/post it. That send button is very sensitive. Lucian bumped my elbow while I was composing this and I accidentally pressed the send button. If you don't put anything in the address field then the send button is not yet active. You could press cancel by accident but at least then you have the opportunity to save a draft.

When it comes to editing though, I really wonder what is the best way to handle corrections, edits or retractions after you've pressed the send button. Since I currently have Posterous set  to autopost to my other online social services, the feeds get autoposted but changes made do not get reflected everywhere in an auto update fashion. Facebook is one example. If I make a change to my original blog or here in Posterous, it's tough noogies when it lands on facebook. Facebook won't pick up the change. At least not in my experience.

Does anyone have any suggestions for how to deal with this monkey wrench in an otherwise well-greased wheel?

I'm also trying to figure out how to manage the duplicates. I have my Blogger blog set to auto update my facebook and friendfeed feeds but Twitter is also hooked to FriendFeed so my posts are multiplied like an echo there. It almost feels like bad mic feedback.

I know I need to do some feed gardening in the friendfeed settings and also for facebook. The question is which feed weeds to pull from which garden?

I still like my Blogger blog, but I also really like the clean look of my Posterous (and everyone elses for that matter).

I don't like the way text ends up formatted (or a complete lack thereof) on my Blogger site from Posterous.

Here is a crack at adding audio to my posts. I recorded a memo using the built in Voice Memos app. Next I pressed 'share' and then I copied and pasted it here:

Boy am I sure glad I waiting till after they added copy and paste to the iPhone before getting one. Now I can see why so many people were complaining about it!

Ok, this is funky!

Right now I'm editing this post on my MacBook Pro using Mail.app because after I pasted that audio file while on the iPhone, this is what the portrait and landscape keyboard looks like!!! Weird, huh?!

Not all the keys function at the moment on the iPhone while editing this post but I was able to copy and paste those screen shots in then save the draft while still on the iPhone then open the draft in Mail.app and add these sentences.

Right now I'm going to save this draft using Mail.app. Then I'm going to restart my iPhone and see if I can come back to this draft and edit it from the iPhone without the wonky keyboard issues above.

Now I'm back on the iPhone after restart but now the images are missing. Hmmm.

Going back to Mail.app to see what's up.

Back on the laptop in Mail.app now.

Crap. I lost all of the attachments. Now I'm wondering if it's because I tried to copy and paste an audio file or if it has something to do with an email cache that got too large for the iPhone to handle in composition mode and it just purged everything.

For my next trick I will attempt to go back to the iPhone and copy and paste the attachments back into the spots where I originally had them in this post. Right now all I see are little blue squares with question marks in them where the attachments used to be. I also wonder if I'm allowing enough time for the draft to save onto the Gmail server and then get retrieved on the iPhone before switching back. I know there is some kind of autosaving going on, but I'm not certain how it works.

Ok, back on the iPhone now. Going to attempt to put the attachments back using copy and paste. First I'll do the pics and then the audio last and see if I can post the final version from the iPhone. Here goes!!

Well, anyhow, these are my thoughts on blogging (for free) from the iPhone using apps and services in a turnkey manner.

Also testing how to remove the signature. Not certain if I need the single quotes or not. Let's see.

Yep, it works. No single quotes needed.

Has anyone tried the Glue app for the iPhone? I may try that one next. Let me know your thoughts.

Posted via email from TheMacMommy

Mobile Blogging with Posterous (tag: tinkering, random thoughts)

In this test, I'm trying out the tagging feature. Hard to tell in the instructions if I need double (( )) or just single ( ). I suppose only one way to find out.

In the subject line should it be:
(tag: tinkering, random thoughts)
OR
((tag: tinkering, random thoughts))

If this post shows up without tags then I'll know what I did wrong.

Can I use HTML code within the text to make a word bold? Let's see.

Here's another thing I'm tinkering with. Trying out different ways to add multiple photos to posts. I know there is the PicPosterous app, but what if I also want to edit the photo using the PS Mobile app? [Link: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/photoshop-com-mobile/id331975235?mt=8 ]

Here is an example of a photo I snapped the other day using my iPhone. Within the iPhone's interface I can take this photo and edit it using the PS Mobile app, save it, then using copy & paste to post

BEFORE

and AFTER shots

How to get iTunes store links for apps to post like I did above? Use the "Tell a friend" feature in the App Store app like so:

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Also testing how to remove the signature. Not certain if I need the single quotes or not. Let's see.

Posted via email from TheMacMommy

If Batman Used Twitter

If Batman used Twitter, I bet he would really dig this "Nearby Tweets" feature in TwitBird Pro. [iTunes Link: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/twitbird-pro/id317777108?mt=8 ]

I love how the tracking beam circles around an epicenter each time you recenter the map. It's just fun to watch the tweeps pop up.

Hey, look, there's someone I actually recognize. Cool!

Actually, I checked and twitter.com/batman IS on Twitter so I suppose if I were looking at a Google map of Gotham, I would probably see the bat signal.

Now I wonder if there even is a Google map of Gotham?

Melissa Davis
TheMacMommy
Sent from my iPhone

Posted via email from TheMacMommy

what goes here i wonder.

From Evernote:

Blogging with Evernote iPhone App?

I don't know why I just can't get into using Evernote. I'm definitely a notetaker and jotter-downer. Now with the pain in my wrist and thumb, I find myself focused on trying new tools that will enable me to keep blogging and podcasting. So, I thought I'd fire up the Evernote app on my iPhone and see what I might be able to do with it. It seems I can type out a note, add tags and then email it. Posterous supports tagging and I remember reading somewhere a way to tag posts but I can't remember how to do it. So, I'm curious now if Evernote will transfer the tags I give it into Posterous.

Yet another test.



Posted via email from TheMacMommy

Can You Guess the iPhone App?

As some of you may know, Lucian has his own pages of kiddie apps on our iPhone and iPod Touch so at times we hand one of the devices to him so he can entertain himself for a few minutes while one of us tries to complete (ha, yeah, right — ok, at least start...) a task around the house. (He's mostly supervised while using it, knows to tell us right away if an ad pops up or if it does something he can't read.) Yesterday he sat quietly on a chair and played a game on my iPhone for several minutes. He was so quiet that I wondered what game he was playing that could be so intense!

So I asked him what game he was playing. He said, "I'm playing the golden lemon game, Mommy."

Can you guess which game this really is? I figured it out when I heard the sounds the game makes, but I'm curious to know what you think it might be.

Just for fun :)

Posted via email from TheMacMommy

Hands Free Blogging?

I'm recording this message using an iPhone app called dictation made by Dragon I'm not using a keyboard I'm just using my voice and I'm talking and it's recording what I'm saying I'm wondering if I can post a blog post using this application it seems you have to keep talking in order for keep recording or else it stops and you have to press the record button again actually no it only records for certain amount of time I wish there was a countdown so I can see how much time I have left before it stops recording my voice it only records for so long and then it tells you it's processing and then you have to press record again emergency continuing the same message as you can see if you're reading this message some of the words don't really make sense. So it's good but it's not perfect. I've also found that it's very difficult to just talk stream of consciousness for me personally. Anyhow I just thought this was a fun little app to try out and see how it might come in handy for hosting status updates or blog posts or even tweet I wonder if anyone else has used this app called dictation by dragon I also noticed that there's no capitalization or punctuation and you must also speak very clearly I guess that makes sense of course I suppose it saves time and that you don't have to type everything out and then you just go back in and edit were text with proper E. capitalization and punctuation I'm sure you can figure out where the mistakes are in this text I wonder how this would be used in combination with the iPhone's built-in universal access features in other words being able to speak commands such as Don or capitalize the letter AA or stop with me and insert it. It would be great if I could just say e-mail, post and have it actually e-mail the text to posters and have it show up on on my blog automatically or auto magically I wonder if it will figure out that word well anyhow Hailis just having some fun. Let me know if you used this app and how you used it and if you like it

Melissa Davis
TheMacMommy
Sent from my iPhone

Posted via email from TheMacMommy

6 Week Smile

6 Week Wiggles

Labor Data & Update

This is what the data looks like from the iPhone app called "Baby's Coming" which is a contraction timer app. I'm also using an app called "Total Baby" which is aimed at logging info on the baby like feedings, wet diapers, dr appts, etc. I'm actually using it now to log info about ME that I know the hospital staff will likely ask me later. It sounds awful, and truth be told, it's not pretty but when you have a c-section, you end up being monitored just like the baby and they even measure your pee and poop to make sure your organs are working once they put you back together after they extract the baby. Meds will be dosed on a tight schedule and also meals. So, I figured why not add myself as one of the "children" that needs to be logged. I just entered my last meal, meds I've taken and noted my contraction info, among other details so I'll hopefully know what answers to give nurses when they ask after I've been admitted.   

I've had to stop several times now while writing this to note my contractions and; re-copy and paste the new data!

Baby is still active and moving a lot. I really think he wants out soon.

The surgery is scheduled for 12 noon today, so hopefully we can hold out for it, but 11 hours feels like a long time to be like this so unless these contractions start spreading out like they did an hour ago, we may have to leave earlier for the hospital than planned.

The OB on call told me to try and rest up (yeah, right!) and to just report to the hospital once we have a consistant pattern of contractions lasting 1 min and 5-10 mins apart for at least an hour. Well, I can check the 1 minute duration off the list and I can also check off the 5-10 min. intervals, but the consistant for 1 hour is what I'm working on now. Also, they can not cut me open until I've not had any food for more than 6 hours. Looking at my food log in the Total Baby app, it tells me it's only been closer to 5 hrs. since I last ate. So, we couldn't even leave for the hospital for another 1 hr. anyway.

I took some Tylenol PM and I'm starting to feel sleepy but I just don't see how I'll sleep through these contractions!

Well, that's the update for now. Nate is sleeping and I'm trying to lay down and rest in between contractions and going potty which is extremely hard to do when it feels like there is an ice pick in my bladder!!

I'm taking it minute by minute. Thanks so much for all of your prayers, thoughts, tweets, posts, and phone calls. It really means so much to Nate and I.

I'm going to keep resting while pressing the start/stop button on the iPhone app. It does really make it so much easier to rest because of the minimal effort to use the app. I can keep the lights off, Nate can sleep (which is what I need him to do!), I can lie on my side and just reach out a finger to the iPhone I have setting right here by my bedside and touch the screen.

Bags are packed and ready. Gadgets are charging. Computers are backed up. Lucian is sleeping over at Oma and Opa's house. Oma French braided my hair and alarms are set.

Rock n Roll!

Event	Details
Contraction	1:09:04 AM (duration: 1 min 30s, interval: 7 min 1s)
Contraction	12:59:59 AM (duration: 2 min 2s, interval: 6 min 19s)
Contraction	12:52:01 AM (duration: 1 min 39s, interval: 5 min 21s)
Contraction	12:45:34 AM (duration: 1 min 5s, interval: 9 min 37s)
Contraction	12:35:05 AM (duration: 50s, interval: 6 min 35s)
Contraction	12:26:48 AM (duration: 1 min 41s, interval: 6 min 1s)
Contraction	12:18:38 AM (duration: 2 min 8s, interval: 4 min 34s)
Contraction	12:12:36 AM (duration: 1 min 27s, interval: 2 min 6s)
Contraction	12:09:45 AM (duration: 44s, interval: 8 min 54s)
Contraction	11:58:58 PM (duration: 1 min 52s, interval: 2s)
Contraction	11:58:55 PM (duration: 1s, interval: 8 min 14s)
Contraction	11:48:54 PM (duration: 1 min 45s, interval: 8 min 14s)
Contraction	11:39:44 PM (duration: 55s, interval: 23 min 14s)
Contraction	11:14:44 PM (duration: 1 min 45s, interval: 28 min 45s)
Contraction	10:44:40 PM (duration: 1 min 17s, interval: 12 min 44s)
Contraction	10:31:09 PM (duration: 47s, interval: 12 min 35s)
Contraction	10:17:29 PM (duration: 1 min 4s, interval: 14 min 21s)
Contraction	10:01:55 PM (duration: 1 min 12s, interval: 31 min 20s)
Contraction	9:28:48 PM (duration: 1 min 46s, interval: 13 min 43s)
Contraction	9:13:52 PM (duration: 1 min 11s, interval: 9 min 19s)
Contraction	9:03:21 PM (duration: 1 min 11s, interval: 9 min 57s)
Contraction	8:51:53 PM (duration: 1 min 31s, interval: 7 min 38s)
Contraction	8:42:25 PM (duration: 1 min 48s, interval: 7 min 22s)
Contraction	8:33:28 PM (duration: 1 min 34s, interval: 5 min 31s)
Contraction	8:25:27 PM (duration: 2 min 30s, interval: 16 min 24s)
Contraction	8:07:05 PM (duration: 1 min 57s, interval: N/A)
Exported with "Baby's coming" iPhone application.

Rockabye Baby! Music Review & Contest!

I've been wanting to tell you all about this great music I've been listening to and what better way to do that than by showing you someone else's review and managing to throw my name in the hat for a prize at the same time?!!!

The Feminist Shopper blog has a great review up — almost sounds like one I'd likely write myself (especially the part about Steven Tyler's lyrics for, well, not how you can get pregnant all by yourself) — so why reinvent the wheel, ya know? (especially not while I'm due to give birth a just a few days!)

If you're having a baby, put this music on your baby registry. I did and good friends of ours got us the Lullaby Renditions Bob Marley CD and we LOVE it! If you know of a friend having a baby, this music would make a fantastic baby shower gift.

We now have in our collection: Lullaby Renditions of Bob Marley, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and Queen. I have a combination of CD and digital versions I downloaded from iTunes. (hint: you can get them for less on iTunes than the CD version. Just a tip.) Just go to iTunes and do a search for "Rockabye Baby" or "Lullaby Renditions" and you'll see them all.

I loaded all of the music into iTunes and created a play list just for our new baby. I play this play list on our media center in our bedroom with the iTunes visualizer using the "Jelly" theme.

Can you say "drool?" It's a totally trippy ambience having this kind of music play softly while the visualizer puts a soft glow throughout the room. Very soothing in that Grateful Dead-Jefferson Starship-concert-visuals-type-of-way. (Minus all the pot smoke and actual tripping going on.) (So I've been told ;)

Anyhow, check out her review and enter the contest yourself. Hurry! Time is running out!

I hope I win because I really want to add the Eagles to my collection!!!

Balance

A family member posted a question on Facebook asking advice about balancing work and family.

Someone put something in my powdered juice mix. This was my answer and I can't believe the box let me type it all in there.

✂ ☺ ✂ ☺ ✂ ☺ ✂ ☺ ✂ ☺ ✂ ☺ ✂ ☺ ✂ ☺ ✂ ☺ ✂ ☺ ✂ ☺

I think Balance is the Holy Grail of Motherhood and we're on a constant quest to achieve it. The fact that we don't always achieve Balance keeps us humble. I think some people can afford to make it all look and smell good; the rest of us do the best we can with what we have.

It is possible to do more with less. I didn't say it was comfortable, but when you do it for a while, you get used to it. Bonuses are truly special that way.

Unfortunately, I always strive to be a better parent than my parents were. I say unfortunately because I'd rather be trying to emulate good parents; not trying to undo and break cycles of generations of abuse from all angles. Again, I work with what I have and try to improve upon it. Liquor nor drugs are the answer, but sometimes they are an aide, especially when prescribed. Better living through chemistry, but pick your poison carefully.

It also has something to do with what you define as "work." If you do something you enjoy, you'll never work. Tasks for which you are compensated monetarily will coexist with tasks for which you're compensated in that which is much more valuable than money. If you have priorities in order and put yourself and people first before things in your life and keep it simple, it gives you wiggle room for something closer to what may resemble balance.

Thank God for the life you live and the people in it. Nothing else matters quite as much.

Ok, that was fun. Now, excuse me now while I go back to freaking out about more important things in life like whether or not the slip covers are on straight and the kid put his books and toys away. Because, when I can't control what's happening to my body and I'm getting cut open in less than 20 days and will soon have a screaming infant again...you know...balance is making sure the coffee cups in the sink don't topple over and wake everyone up just when I finally pass out.

Posted via email from TheMacMommy

Stylin' and Profilin' The Baby Bump

Just so you know, this story does have a happy ending....

It has taken me a long time to finally muster up the courage to ask my husband to take some baby bump photos of me that I would be willing to share with everyone. I'm now 35 weeks along and my belly bump is finally starting to round out more. I don't know why, but for some reason, I just do not like the way my body is shaped for this pregnancy. When I was pregnant with Lucian, I really loved my pregnant body. I still felt I looked more oblong than round, but at least I felt very feminine and beautiful. I just haven't felt that way this time around. I feel more rectangular than round. I have belly bump envy whenever I look at other pregnant women and they have these glorious, basketball-looking bellies that are so plump and round. Every time I look in the mirror, I feel disgusted because I don't look pregnant, I just look heavy. I feel like when I'm out and about, people don't know I'm pregnant unless they watch me waddle. To look at me in the grocery checkout line, I just don't think they see me as pregnant but perhaps a woman who maybe just gave birth or is just overweight. When I was pregnant with Lucian, I got the vibe from people that they all KNEW I was pregnant and everyone would smile at me. I loved that feeling. I don't get that vibe this time around.

Just the other week, we were getting our cars serviced. Nate and the mechanic were engaged in a conversation about kids because Lucian was with us and I think the guy said something to the effect of "is he your only child?" and of course, Nate replied that we were expecting another soon and pointing to me as if to say, um, isn't it obvious my wife is pregnant? The man very politely put his hands up in defense and said "Oh, I never assume that anymore. I got myself into a lot of trouble once because I asked a woman when she was due and she wasn't pregnant. I learned my lesson the hard way and I never assume anymore and just keep my mouth shut." Of course, it's understandable. Who hasn't been in that situation where you want to say something, but just don't because you just never know. Of course I understand and I don't fault the man at all. It just stung a little bit because it was just another reminder that I just look heavy and not OBVIOUSLY pregnant. It just bugged me.

It's Just Bumped Up

What's even more strange is that I haven't gained as much weight with this pregnancy either, so why shouldn't I be happy about that? At my last 34 week checkup, I had only gained 21 pounds total. I am really happy about that, don't get me wrong, but it's a struggle because of the strict diet I am on. Growing up, you're trained to view pregnancy as a time to indulge and NEVER a time to diet. Not for me though, there isn't much wiggle room when you have Gestational Diabetes and severe nerve compression. I think I'm mostly upset because I was ten pounds heavier when I started this pregnancy and I was really, really terrified of gaining more weight on top of that because of the nerve compression in my left leg. I've been really disappointed in myself because I didn't lose more weight before getting pregnant. I really wanted to lose twenty pounds so that when I gained the pregnancy weight, it wouldn't put quite as much pressure on my spine, nerves and joints. That didn't happen and so here I suffer the consequences of chronic pain and discomfort because I failed to reach my goal. I'm also very upset with myself because I have Gestational Diabetes again. I could have potentially avoided it if I had lost the weight I should have. So again, no one else to blame but me. I feel really sad that I could be causing this poor baby health problems because of my lack of responsibility to keep myself healthy. I'll never forget poor little Lucian and all the heel sticks they put him through and how they had to force feed him formula to get his blood sugar up. We had to stay in the hospital for five long days because of his low blood sugar and I feel like it's all my fault. I'm so nervous that this baby will have to endure that same treatment. That's another reason, of many, why I am absolutely dreading the C-section because last time, it slowed down the process of lactation so much that my milk didn't come in for seven days. Had I been able to lactate earlier, I would have been able to get Lucian's blood sugar up faster. I really, really hope it won't be as bad this time around and that I can nurse much earlier since at least I'm more experienced at it. I'm confident in my abilities, but not what all the surgery related drugs in my system will do to my milk production.

I know, I know, I shouldn't beat myself up about it, but it's hard not to. The last trimester is, well, TRYING — and tiring. I'm moody, tired and uncomfortable at 35 weeks. Unless you've been through the torment of pregnancy and delivery that I have, you just wouldn't understand. I try to enjoy pregnancy, I really, really do. I'm just venting hoping it will make me feel better. Writing about it is very cathartic for me. I really do believe that pregnancy is an incredible honor, blessing and privilege and I'm extremely grateful to be pregnant. Despite the excruciating, agonizing pain and discomfort I experienced last time, I was willing to endure it again because I believe the end product of a child is worth the struggle and then some. I'm even willing to do it again. That will really depend, however, on how well I recover from this delivery and IF my husband will ever get me pregnant again. He doesn't want me to be in pain so much to the point where he'd just rather not impregnate me. I can't blame him for being terrified. It's not only the woman who suffers but the man who has to put up with her suffers too! Neither one of us is happy to "put the other through it again" so that's something we'll be struggling with in the future. Nate, as I imagine many men do, feels helpless and extremely frustrated when he can't fix me or make me feel better.

I'm determined and stubborn, it's just that I'm not always quiet about it and I sometimes have to gripe about it to deal with the stress. I can't help but feel envious toward women who can be so active in their pregnancies and immediately afterward. My chronic joint pain and allergies just won't allow me to be as active as I'd like and it's depressing feeling so debilitated at times.

The last time I shared photos I was 23 weeks along and feeling brave because I was in the second trimester and feeling like I had "the glow." So, for the sake of comparison, here I am at 23 weeks.

I am the type of person who tries to find the positive in everything. The silver lining, if you will. After all the griping, I try my best to try to switch gears and look for something to be happy about. Now that you've read all of the negative feelings I've been experiencing, here is something positive. Like I said, I really don't like the way my body looks. Maternity clothing helps to a point, but for the most part, I just haven't found anything that I feel makes me look really nice and pregnant, motherly or feminine.....

Until now.

Maggie Maternity to the Rescue

Thanks to TwitterMoms and their RAMBO alerts, I was awarded the opportunity to blog a review of a maternity dress from Maggie Maternity. I was able to pick the color, size and style so I picked their Summer Sleeveless Maxi Dress. I picked a dress because I've never owned or worn a maternity dress. I normally don't really have many occasions to dress up, but I thought perhaps if I got a dress, maybe we would make an opportunity so I could get all gussied up to feel better. That has still yet to happen, but I have worn this dress to a parent-teacher night at Lucian's preschool so far and then again today to have my photos taken to document the pregnancy. I'm also thinking about wearing it for my upcoming Sprinkle Shower. Another reason I chose the dress is because it's very, very hot in Tucson this time of year and this dress looked like it would be very comfortable in the heat. I was right!

First of all, let me just get the few negative points out of the way. The price of this dress is a bit high-end for my personal budget, but I don't feel it's an unfair price at $75.00 because it's pretty well made and a glorious material. It washes very well and it's simple to hang it to dry. It's probably very affordable for most, but on our modest single income, it just wouldn't be practical for me to spend this much on one piece of clothing that I'll only wear a few times. Perhaps had it been my first pregnancy, knowing for sure I would wear it for another pregnancy later on and with the extra full time paycheck, possibly it could have been affordable. In our current situation though, it just makes sense to buy second-hand for less. Also, when it comes to spending, technology is more of a priority for me than clothing, shoes or makeup. That's just ME. That being said, I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to own a "pricey" new article of maternity clothing. It's a real treat.

The second and last constructive criticism I will give this piece is that I'm a bit disappointed with the bust area. Now, this is not necessarily the fault of the dress-maker because I am large-busted and ALWAYS have trouble with clothing, but I do believe a dress sized at an Extra Large should be equipped with a bit more room in the bust area as women who wear this size do tend to be larger breasted. I probably would have been better fit in a 1X or women's size 16/18 for the cut of the top of this dress. It is really hard to find a bra that will work with this dress because of the way the straps and neckline are shaped. Bras for breasts of my size (currently a 42 DD — and bound to get larger once milk comes in! ugh!) are cut with much larger cups, thicker straps and higher cleavage lines for support. I did manage to find a suitable nursing bra in black with a lower neck line and much thinner straps that wouldn't stick out, but then the sides near the armpit area still showed because of the larger cup size. Also, the stitching under the bust line on this dress could be a little more reinforced due to the weight of the breasts it's meant to support. I found myself tugging a little to get my breasts to fit in the area better and I was afraid of tearing out the stitching. I think if the bust of this style dress could be modified, it would be perfect. As you can see in the photos, my solution was to pair this dress with an unbuttoned blouse to hide the bra from showing. It might even be nice if Maggie Maternity were to design a cute, short-sleeved jacket to go with this dress for those of us with larger arms and bigger bust lines. Those are just my suggestions.

Now, on to the best part.

I have to rave about this dress now and NOT because it was given to me for a review. Honestly, I have to rave because remember all the depressing stuff I wrote about before? When I put this dress on, it really lifts my spirits. All those negative feelings melt away. I feel pretty, feminine and motherly when I wear this dress. The fabric is incredibly soft and keeps me cool and comfortable in the heat. It accentuates my belly bump and makes it look ROUND for a change! I feel like I finally look pregnant while wearing this dress. When I wore it a few weeks ago to our son's parent teacher night at his preschool, I loved the way I looked and felt in it. There was one other pregnant woman there and for the first time I did NOT have belly bump envy!! I actually felt good about the way my belly bump was being "presented" — if you will.

I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone else, but that's how I feel when it comes to dressing up my belly bump. Bellies should be worn with pride and up until now, I haven't felt like I could really do that before. So, with the exception of a few enhancements I would make for larger-sized women, I would definitely recommend this maternity dress to others. It gets TheMacMommy stamp of approval :)

Thanks again, Maggie Maternity for helping me to feel good about my new shape!

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from TheMacMommy

Scoobie Snacks

Lucian loves giving Joschka "scoobie snacks"

Sent from my iPhone

wish I could figure out how to post more than 1 pic using this method

Posted via email from TheMacMommy