Bittersweet

Well, I knew this time would come, but I was never sure how I would feel about it. I've decided that I am okay with it. It's now been several weeks, but Lucian has finally weaned himself.

Boy, what an affirmation!

I can't really, truly remember the last time he nursed and a friend told me that would happen so that helped prepare me. I'm kind of glad there wasn't really a significant "last supper" so to speak. Actually, it would have been more of a "last breakfast" since he gave up the night sessions long ago. Even then, towards the end, it was more of a comfort thing anyhow. I mean, have you seen my son? He doesn't exactly look malnourished!

I'm just glad overall. It's very, very bittersweet, but overall, it just feels right to me and us and that's the most important part.

A week or so ago I retired my breast feeding ticker that used to adorn the bottom of this blog. It made me a little sad to remove it, but it was time. I've accepted it as another milestone in our lives.

I love these little tickers, so perhaps I'll find some new ones for Lucian and the baby.

Some other time perhaps I'll go into more detail about the struggles I had with breastfeeding in the beginning in hopes that it might help someone else. Or maybe just to remind myself how far I came in case I need some encouragement in the future. I might even do a "gadget review" of my trusty breast pump if I get up the nerve.

It was an incredible challenge, but one that I feel was a major triumph for me. I'm keeping the attitude that it can only get better the next time and I'm determined to do it again, but also accept it if this next child doesn't nurse for as long as Lucian did. (Or longer if necessary.)

When we went to the OB for the initial blood tests to confirm the pregnancy, Lucian was still nursing, but very occasionally. One of the first questions I asked the RN was about breastfeeding (if even only for comfort) while pregnant. She said it was perfectly fine up till 20 weeks and by then I would have to wean him because nipple stimulation causes a release in Prolactin which could bring on pre-term labor. Aren't you glad you know that now?

So, I kept that in mind for the next week or so, but gradually, he just stopped asking every morning. He let me down easy and I'm soooooo grateful! Even still, very rarely, he will put on a funny face as if to be playful and tell me he wants "mlauk" – which is his "pet name" for it. I have no idea why he picked that word, but he made it up as a way to differentiate between cow's milk and "boobay juices of luv" – which was my pet name for it – affectionately.

I've seen some TV stories of women who extended breastfeeding and – while I'm sort of in that "camp" because we went past two years – I thought it was silly that they had nicknames for breastfeeding. That was, silly until I realized that we were doing that too!! Now it doesn't seem silly any more – it's just the way it is and why bother feeling weird about it!

Well, that's a little update on some of the transitions I'm going through. I have more, but I'm trying to do shorter, more frequent posting. Plus I'm a bit hormonal so I try to think before I post more.

Gestation 2.0

Our family is pleased to announce something very exciting and here is Lucian to give you the special news!

We Found Nemo!
We just had our first sonogram and got to see the little sea monkey's heart beat and watch it float around. (I swear, it looked like a sea monkey!) It was a very special and exciting time for all of us. Lucian watched the monitor intently. The sonogram technician tried to explain it to Lucian and said, "See the little baby? It's swimming around in Mommy's belly like a little fishy!" Lucian was observant to point his little finger at the screen and exclaim, "Look! Nemo!" So now you know why we'll be nicknaming this baby "Nemo" for a little while. I laughed so hard and it took me a little while to regain composure so we could continue with the rest of the sonogram. (It doesn't work very well when your belly is moving around due to giggling.)

The sonogram printouts are now proudly hanging our our fridge. They all look identical and I wish the picture was clearer, but it turns out we're not as far along as the OB thought we were. Based on the measurements, the sonogram technician adjusted our due date from October 30th to November 9th. I'm still hoping for a Halloween baby though because second babies are usually earlier and if this pregnancy has the same complications as Lucian's then they would take the baby early anyhow. We'll just have to wait and see. (Something I'm not very good at!)

There isn't much to see in the photo, but seeing the heartbeat in action was enough to at least make it feel just a little more real. It's still very surreal. I thought maybe sharing the news might help with that. We're only 8 weeks and 5 days along (not 10 weeks like we originally thought) so it feels odd to share the news so much sooner than we did the first time around, but the sonogram technician said it was safe to share because there was movement and a good heartbeat.

Here is Nemo's very first baby picture!

According to the sonogram measurements, our little "Nemo" is 5.9 cm long. That's the length of my pinky so now I can't stop looking at my little finger and day dreaming just a little.

Standard Gestational Operating Procedure
I've been feeling very tired and have been trying harder to get more rest. That's why this blog and other social places have been quiet or dormant for so long. Lucian has been much more demanding of my time. With a new family member coming, I'm also trying to cherish more of our time together while it's still just him and us. We sleep in and snuggle more in the mornings because Pre School is just around the corner. (and because gestation is hard work!!) I know I'll never get these times back so I like to hold on to them just a little longer now.

It's also why I've been a little more stressed about finances, but I'm sure this is all normal. (I'll go into more detail about other things later.) Another reason I've been quiet is because I hate keeping secrets! I'm good at it, but I hate doing it! I was so afraid I would slip and spill the beans, so now that we've been to our first sonogram I feel a little better about letting the cat out of the bag.

It's still very early and things could go wrong, but after seeing it yesterday, there isn't any point in keeping it a secret any longer. Our family has known now for a couple of weeks. I suppose if something were to go wrong, I'd rather have more support than none at all. These feelings are all standard gestational operating procedure, I'm sure. I'm certainly a lot more relaxed about most things this time around but I think I'm much, much more tired!!

It's hard to imagine I was working full time the first time around. I don't know how I had the energy! Now that I'm a stay-at-home-mom, I have to say, it was nothing compared to working 24/7 for a busy toddler!! You can't call in late to a toddler who wants his breakfast N-O-W just because you'd like to try and hold on to your cookies.

Overall, we're very happy because we've been trying since October of last year, so this is very welcome news for us. I was just beginning to wonder how much longer it would take so I feel relieved since I'm not getting any younger! Luckily, I'll be delivering just before my 35th birthday! Whew!

Back to Blogging
I'm really hoping to get back into blogging about my life. I didn't keep a journal during my pregnancy with Lucian because I just didn't have the time and I was working full time. I really wished I would have because now, more than ever, is when I would really like to reflect on my past experiences to help give me a little confidence boost here and there. Not like I have any more time now, but there is a bit more flexibility so I'm going to give it a try. This blog will still be geeky in nature so it won't be a complete baby diary. I still have plans for other posts, but you know how it is these days, life first and then, if the urge sticks, then it might make it into the blog.

I might also try to write more about some of my past pregnancy and delivery experiences with Lucian. My delivery experience, to me, was very, very traumatic and I haven't yet found the strength or courage to write about it, but maybe it will come. Since almost 3 years has passed, I know I don't remember details like I did when it was happening to me and that's probably a good thing. Anyhow, I'm just going to have to try because writing is very therapeutic for me.

Gestation is hard work, but it's one of the most rewarding experiences a human can experience so I welcome the challenges to come!

Stay tuned for more updates and I hope you feel as blessed and lucky as we do.

Singing the ABCs

Sorry it's been so quiet here lately. Been having some technical difficulties combined with just being so darn busy!
I've been missing blogging and hope to get back into it soon. I have lots of stuff to share. As usual, I'm backlogged. Some things though are just a matter of timing but soon all will be revealed!

Here is a little video Lucian and I recorded today after he got up from his nap. He loved to sing and pretends different objects are microphones.

The video freezes up, sorry about that. We'll try to make some more later when we're done planting our seeds for our new garden!!

twhurple

Hand-Made Mac Tip No. 10
Roll Your Own Color Scheme for twhirl

I love purple. It's my favorite color. It makes me happy. It makes me so happy that when an application allows color customization of some sort, I usually tweak it to some type of purple if I can.

I also love twhirl.

Twhirl has a color scheme called "Purple Rain" but it's just not quite purple enough for me. It's a little more on the pink side, but I really like the way it differentiates different types of messages using different hues. It's a nice feature in the UI that really helps me digest information quickly. I just love UI design and I can tell the twhirl development team has put a lot of work into this application.

I remembered reading somewhere in some support comments that you could change the color codes inside the xml files manually. I didn't know exactly what that meant so I went snooping around inside of the package contents for the application to see what was in there. This was a fun experiment and learning process for me.

I located the color schemes folder and then found the .xml files. I don't even know what xml is really but I'm always curious about code so I opened one of the files up to see if any of it would make sense to me. I always tell people I'm not a programmer type and I could not code my way out of a paper bag but one thing I do recognize is a little bit of html color code. So, I set out to start changing things and low and behold, I developed my very own purply goodiness color scheme for twhirl!

At first, I didn't know what colors corresponded to which design element of the UI, so I made a new xml file, named it "rainbowtest" and proceeded to change the color in each line of code to a different color — as many different colors as I could so that I could see what belonged where.

Here is what that looked like. Remeber, this is not an acid trip, it's just a test!

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Now that I could see what part was which color, I could begin to understand how the layout was constructed and how the colors worked together.

Next, I set out to start picking out a color palette that might work together. This was not as easy as I thought it would be. To begin the idea generation, I used this really great web tool called Color Scheme Designer. This is just an example of how I began thinking about how colors relate to each other.

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Here is a screen shot of my artboard in Adobe Illustrator. It took many trials to pick just the right colors to make sure messages and function buttons were readable. Several times I had to quit and restart twhirl so it could recognize the new xml file I copied into the twhirl/Contents/Resources/colorschemes folder.

I was having a hard time trying to decide two of the text colors. They needed to stand out and be very legible so my eyes wouldn't have to strain reading the small text. 16 point type is the maxium. It turns out, the colors in the twhirl logo seemed to work out nicely so I used an approximation of them based on a screen shot of the logo. I used the eye dropper tool in Adobe Illustrator to get an approximation and then further tweaked the colors to make them more readable against the color backgrounds I chose.

I am pleased with the final result and now have a twhirl color scheme that coordinates with my nice clean, empty (almost always because I'm a freak-job like that) purple desktop.

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Here is the final result without notation and development artboard.



















Here is part of the code that will give you the purple color scheme I created. Just replace the colors with these if you would like the same purple scheme I'm using. Blogger won't let me copy and paste the code for some reason. I shall call it "twhurple" and if you're brave enough to tweak and know what you're doing, I hope you might enjoy it as much as I do. Just don't blame me or twhirl if you break it, ok?

4D2E60
FFFFFF
644874
9D8BA7
CBFF82
FFFFFF
DCCDD5
C7D8D9
CFC8E9
000000
5E1AA0
57878A
57878A
FFFFFF
CBFF82
5E1AA0

If you've found this tweak useful and were able to successfully implement it, I would love to see a screen shot of your desktop if you wouldn't mind. Loic and #teamseesmic are also looking for screen shots of desktops featuring twhirl in action. It would be really fun to see if this could work out for someone else and how many other purple fanatics there are out there!

Have fun and follow me on twitter, seesmic or FriendFeed — all three of these services are available in one place using twhirl! Isn't that great?

Love Is...

My hand-made Valentine to you!
♡Melissa

My Favorite Characters

Hand-Made Mac Tip No. 9
Not the same as Love Potion No. 9, but almost as much fun!

You thought I was going to write about Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse? No, not those kinds of characters! These kinds of characters:
 ✭♡♥❦☮✍✌✓♫♪♺⌘⇧⌫⏏

Depending on which browser you're using to view this blog, you may not be able to properly view some or maybe even all of these characters. Assuming you're on a Mac and using the latest versions of Safari or Firefox, it shouldn't be an issue.

I thought with Valentine's Day here, you might enjoy a nice tip for getting to those cute little hearts and other fancy symbols quickly.

First you'll need to configure your International System Preference Pane and then you'll need to configure the Character Palette to show just your favorite or most-used characters. Once this is done, you'll be just 2 clicks away from accessing the characters you use on a regular basis.

I find this helpful for when I'm trying to communicate a set of instructions in which I can use the shortcut key symbols.

It's also fun to say things like:
I ♥ You. Let's book the next ✈ to New York and go hear some great ♬♪♫

Did you ✔ to see if the tickets are on sale?

Would you like for me to ☏ you at a special ⌚ ?

Did you remember to ♺ your paper?

Step 1. Configure your International Preference Pane available by selecting the System Preferences from the Apple Menu in the upper left hand corner of your screen.

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Step 2. You will see a little flag icon in your Menu Bar. Click on it once to reveal a drop-down menu from which you can select Show Character Palette.














Step 3. Configure your Character Palette by selecting your Favorite characters. Look closely at this screen shot (click to enlarge) and pay attention to each of the areas where you'll need to click. Make your Character Palette look like this. Select a character you want to favorite by clicking on it once to highlight it. Next, click on the cog wheel at the bottom and choose 'Add to Favorites' from the drop-down menu.

Repeat this step of selecting a character and then 'Add to Favorites' for each of the characters you'll use on a regular basis. When you're finished selecting characters, move on to the next step. (Don't worry, you can always keep adding more favorites.)

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Step 4. View your Favorites and now the Character Palette will always show just this section of Favorite characters by default each time. Whenever you need a character, just click once on the flag icon and then once to select 'Show Character Palette.' (two clicks! no waiting for a website to load them!)

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

I hope you find this tip useful!