Week 11 Rantings

Warning: this is a rant and a journal entry. I swear and complain a lot. And, I'm tired of defending myself for it.

I KNOW I'm supposed to be happy about being pregnant and really, I am happy about being pregnant. I've loved this baby before we even conceived it. We worked pretty hard to get this far. (Shut up! That pun was not intended.)

What I'm not happy about is the circumstances surrounding this pregnancy. Right now it feels like I'm the only one who loves this baby and is happy about it. I feel like the buffer surrounding me right now is just filled with negativity. Now, I know that isn't true – I know people are extremely happy for us – I just can't help how I FEEL is different from what I KNOW.

Blame it on the bad economy. Blame it on planetary alignment. It's not you, it's me.

It really helped when I went public with my pregnancy. All the well-wishing that poured in was uplifting. I guess I just wish I could get that kind of support from my immediate family. (Namely my mother, who has not spoken to me in about two months now – which is probably the crux of the problem here.) (and I don't even want to go into detail about that right now. I did something wrong, she did something wrong. She said/she said. She won't let it go. I don't have a choice now.) I still can't help thinking there is something about the second baby just being so lackluster compared to the first. I don't know how to deal with that yet.

Of course, I know my husband feels happy about the baby, but you know how it is for men – it takes a while until they can really emotionally connect. Sometimes it doesn't even happen until they get to hold the baby for the first time. I don't hold it against him. He can't help it and I can't help feeling frustrated wishing there was a way he could connect better. Right now he is more focused on keeping Lucian out of my hair during the weekends so I can catch up on rest. (I consider myself very lucky indeed.)

One problem I'm having is trying to bond with this pregnancy. It's only 11 weeks. Something could still go wrong. Aside from the normal moodiness, lack of energy, breast tenderness and nausea, I still don't feel pregnant and have a hard time accepting that someday we'll have another family member here in our little home. As if all those symptoms aren't enough, I can't help feeling I'd like more feedback from the baby. Ugh! I'm so impatient!

Why didn't God build us with a little porthole we could look in on? Why? Is that asking too much? Come on!

I keep wanting to put the bassinet together and start going through the baby clothing and getting organized, but it's way too soon for nesting. I'm terrified I'll put lots of energy into all that and then something terrible will happen and it will make things worse. Those thoughts are so disturbing to me now. I've read it's normal to think those things, but that doesn't make it any easier. I keep thinking if I can just get through these next few weeks and hear the baby's heartbeat for reassurance, I can invest more of a connection to it.

I'm really frustrated and depressed about a lot of things right now. It's mostly the uncertainty that gets to me. I'm a control freak so uncertainty is a bad thing for me. Not feeling in control really pisses me off. I feel very sad and scared thinking about how this baby might be born. I'm terrified and still traumatized since my first delivery experience. It's hard to explain and unless you've had a long labor that ended in emergency C-section, you just wouldn't understand.

Being told by the OB that she's strongly recommending another C-section is not helping me. I know we have time and I've advocated against it, but still, I'm not feeling very confident right now like I thought I would since it's my second time. I felt like a failure the first time around and now I already feel like a failure not even being given the option to use my vagina to give birth like it was meant to be. I don't want to go through life never knowing what it's like to birth a baby.

I'm considering asking for a different doctor, but I just don't know how to go about doing it. How can I tell a different doctor won't tell me the same thing?

To me, I still can not say with confidence that I "gave birth." To ME, I had an operation and my baby was cut out of me. I was stripped naked, strapped to a table, arms restrained, in a cold room, cut open (and could feel it all). They cut the baby out and shoved him in front of my face for 3 seconds. All I could see was his nose poking out. Hubby and baby were whisked out of the room, leaving me abandoned with a bunch of strangers so the surgical team could finish putting my organs back in and sew me up.

While I was getting put back together (physically, at the very least) EVERYONE else back in the delivery room (6 friends and family) got to bask in the glory of holding and bonding with the little person I was so anxious to meet. MY SON. I got no skin contact with him for close to an hour. He was all wrapped up so tightly I don't even remember getting to count his toes or interact with him much at all. I couldn't even hold him because of the after effects of the surgery. I had the shakes and was nauseous. Right away, the nurses tried to assist us in nursing. Right away, I was the meal ticket – no, hi, hello, how are ya – just, here, put your boob in his mouth and try to feed him. (Never mind that it took another 7 days for my milk to come in directly followed by mastitis – no doubt a result of the drugs and surgery stripping my immune system.) That's my memory of it. Not saying that's what actually happened, but that's how I remember it. My brain has protected me just enough to allow me the bravery to get pregnant again, but let me tell ya – I think it took Nate and I a few months to get pregnant just because we were both still terrified. There were times I looked at my ovulation calendar and just plain chickened out or was relieved when either of us got sick and didn't feel like it.

Birth was not romantic or organic and I wished I had never thought it would be.

I'll never regret the bonding that took place between Nate and our son and of course I was not envious of his experience at all. I was extremely grateful for it. Other men would be envious of my husband's bonding experience and I'm proud of him for being SuperDad and SuperHubby simultaneously. (And when I said MY SON, I mean OUR son, but for that traumatic and physical moment where the baby and I were separated and the pregnancy ended, that was MY physical moment between myself and the baby that grew inside of MY body.) I also was grateful for all the family and friends that were present and their tremendous support. I would not have changed having them all there for the birth. However, I learned the hard way, that as far as the bonding experience right after the baby is born, that part should be private and intimate with the parents and baby – not the entire entourage and team. It was the first experience of this kind for almost everyone present, so no one really knew what would have been best. I don't regret them being there, I just wished I could have had some private time is all. Just a pause would have been nice. Private moments with just the two of us and our new baby just didn't seem to happen for days. That's something I'd like to change this time around.

I have massive delivery envy now. I am jealous of everyone who can give birth the way it was intended to happen. I cry and then get mad at myself because my bitterness gets in the way of being happy for people and the true joy, blessing and privilege it is to have a live and healthy baby no matter how it gets here. I really hope I can get over that some day. I wish I didn't think that a vaginal birth for me is the cure.

I don't think I'll ever watch any of those baby story shows on TV. I just can't handle it. They romanticize it too much. I fell so hard for it last time. All I could dream about was pushing the baby out and being able to hold it right away, skin to skin on my bare chest – just like I had seen and been told about. I wouldn't care how gross and messy it would have been. I read and heard stories of women being able to reach down and help pull the baby out. I really wanted to try that. I wanted to give birth in the water. I wanted, I wanted, I wanted – too much to be like the women who had given birth before me and told me how romantic it was despite all the pain and agony. I raised my expectations so high that I never prepared myself mentally for a cesarian section. I was too terrified to go there in my mind and now I know why.

Back in the fifties, they put some women to sleep and then they woke up later and had to go see the baby in the nursery. Fathers, let alone any other visitors, were not allowed to be present at the birth. I still can't wrap my mind around that concept. Does that have to do with our expectations now? Back then, did women just not expect to be able to bond with their babies right away and so they accepted that's the way it was?

I guess I'm just so confused about what to expect versus what to accept.

Perhaps if I had not labored for 20 hours before the surgery it might have been different. From the beginning of being induced to the final delivery was just. such. a. long. time! Too long. While I'm grateful to the nursing staff for giving us every opportunity to have him vaginally, after trying for so hard, for so long, it was just a huge let down. We were admitted around 4 pm on the 29th and I wasn't delivered until after 10 pm on the 30th. It was a long 2 days just trying to get the baby out. The poor kid was stuck for 7 hours at 7 centimeters so no wonder he still had a cone head! Then we were stuck in the hospital recovering from infection and blood sugar issues until the 4th of July. It was a long time to be in a hospital for the first time. Even my IV gave up on me.

The recovery afterwards was painful and time consuming. I felt helpless and even more of a failure for not being able to care for our new baby. Nate did it all. I just tried to nurse and pump, sleep, eat and drink and pop pills. I could barely stand or walk because my body had swelled up to a point where I didn't even recognize myself in a mirror. I had to get up and move to keep my body circulating and avoid blood clots but then I had to keep my feet up when not doing that to get the swelling to go down. I lost so much blood I became anemic. I was catheterized for several days. I had to drag a pole with my fluids every time I got out of bed to move around – which took an agonizing many minutes to accomplish. Any time I stood up, I felt like my intestines were going to fall out of my body and land on the floor.

I can't help thinking that if I had only been able to give birth vaginally, most of that pain could have been avoided. Sure, there would have been pain, but it would have at least been localized and healed faster and I could have been more active sooner. I also don't believe that I'm incapable of having a vaginal birth. I think Lucian just got stuck. (The delivering OB said his head was tilted back.)

The thought of experiencing all of that over again is terrifying because we now have a demanding toddler to care for as well. Nate won't be able to take as much time off since we'll be delivering right before the holidays. I'm hoping that having Lucian around will help to take my mind off of the pain and I'll recover faster because I won't be able to focus on it as much as I did last time. I hope. Once the holidays pick up, then Nate will be home more, so that will help, plus my mother in law now lives closer too. It's just the feeling of helplessness that I dread. I hate needing so much assistance. I want to be able to do it all – on my own. It's not rocket science. I should be able to handle it all. Other women do it, why shouldn't I?

I'm pretty sure it's all normal to feel this hormonal and out of control of my feelings in the first trimester. It's partly the reason why I haven't been blogging. But I can't keep my mouth shut anymore. I have to vent. Writing is very cathartic for me. It's usually been my personal policy to try and keep things light or at least, when I write something dark – to immediately post something light to take the focus off of the negativity. I hate negativity. I hate being negative. I hate not even being able to fake being positive at times. I hate using the word hate. It makes me want to crawl under a rock and hide for fear I'll say something that will offend someone else or be taken the wrong way.

I wish I could just keep my mouth shut. If I were a mute, sometimes I think it would solve ALL of my problems.

I know this will pass. I know something will make it all better and things will work out. Is it possible to be optimistic AND depressed at the same time?

I think the things that bother me the most right now are:

1. My relationship with my Mother – or lack there of

2. Finances

3. Insurance coverage costs making life miserable

4. My health – pain, lack of energy, depression

5. Worries about delivery and feeling like I have a lack of options right now

6. Forgetfulness – I know I'm forgetting something all the time

No offense, but I'm tempted to close the comments on this post just because I'm feeling so bitchy right now and I don't want to hear "perk up, it will be all right." or "you have nothing to worry about, there are starving kids in Africa where infant mortality is higher." or "here, let me sell you something to make you feel better" or "you're a fat bitch and need to get over yourself" – you know, because the trolls still visit once in a while. (the word 'vaginal' is bound to trigger poised search engines. oh yay.) Or "OMG, I can't believe you swear on your blog, you're not the righteous woman I thought you were, I'm no longer reading your blog." (to which I say – "See ya.")

And oh, crap, this blog gets sucked into Facebook and put into my notes section where others may read it who think I'm normally very light-hearted and will be disappointed to find out just how dark I can be. I'm tempted to delete the post.

Screw it. Sometimes I just have to be real and candid, so deal. Unfriend me, unfollow me, ignore me if that's what you need to do – seriously – I've over needing to feel accepted and popular. (Ok, that's stretching it, but you're a real friend to me if you stick around and try to understand and that's all that matters to me anymore.)

I just can't deal with that shit right now. I just want to blog. I just want to vent and complain about MY problems and be self-absorbed for a moment in MY JOURNAL. I know there are people who have it much worse than me right now. I am grateful for the opportunities I DO have in life right now. I'm grateful for a husband who loves me, a wonderful son, a supportive family (most of them anyhow), a roof over my head, food to eat, and some material possessions that make life more bearable among other things I'm too moody to think about right now.

So, I suppose moodiness sums up Week 11. I wish it were all rainbows and Unicorns, but it's not right now. Right now I'm filled with bitterness, fear, sadness and helplessness to name a few.

I just want to be able to look back on this entry in a few months and see what a crazy person I was while feeling completely different in the future. That is the goal and I hope writing this and getting it off my chest will help with that process.

Maybe I just want some other cesarian section victims to reach out and tell me I'm not the only one for whom it's turned into a psychotic weirdo.

I'm also hoping this is so long that no one will want to read it, maybe not even me later.

Now I need to go find something fun to put above this post to move it down and out of other aggregators!

Bittersweet

Well, I knew this time would come, but I was never sure how I would feel about it. I've decided that I am okay with it. It's now been several weeks, but Lucian has finally weaned himself.

Boy, what an affirmation!

I can't really, truly remember the last time he nursed and a friend told me that would happen so that helped prepare me. I'm kind of glad there wasn't really a significant "last supper" so to speak. Actually, it would have been more of a "last breakfast" since he gave up the night sessions long ago. Even then, towards the end, it was more of a comfort thing anyhow. I mean, have you seen my son? He doesn't exactly look malnourished!

I'm just glad overall. It's very, very bittersweet, but overall, it just feels right to me and us and that's the most important part.

A week or so ago I retired my breast feeding ticker that used to adorn the bottom of this blog. It made me a little sad to remove it, but it was time. I've accepted it as another milestone in our lives.

I love these little tickers, so perhaps I'll find some new ones for Lucian and the baby.

Some other time perhaps I'll go into more detail about the struggles I had with breastfeeding in the beginning in hopes that it might help someone else. Or maybe just to remind myself how far I came in case I need some encouragement in the future. I might even do a "gadget review" of my trusty breast pump if I get up the nerve.

It was an incredible challenge, but one that I feel was a major triumph for me. I'm keeping the attitude that it can only get better the next time and I'm determined to do it again, but also accept it if this next child doesn't nurse for as long as Lucian did. (Or longer if necessary.)

When we went to the OB for the initial blood tests to confirm the pregnancy, Lucian was still nursing, but very occasionally. One of the first questions I asked the RN was about breastfeeding (if even only for comfort) while pregnant. She said it was perfectly fine up till 20 weeks and by then I would have to wean him because nipple stimulation causes a release in Prolactin which could bring on pre-term labor. Aren't you glad you know that now?

So, I kept that in mind for the next week or so, but gradually, he just stopped asking every morning. He let me down easy and I'm soooooo grateful! Even still, very rarely, he will put on a funny face as if to be playful and tell me he wants "mlauk" – which is his "pet name" for it. I have no idea why he picked that word, but he made it up as a way to differentiate between cow's milk and "boobay juices of luv" – which was my pet name for it – affectionately.

I've seen some TV stories of women who extended breastfeeding and – while I'm sort of in that "camp" because we went past two years – I thought it was silly that they had nicknames for breastfeeding. That was, silly until I realized that we were doing that too!! Now it doesn't seem silly any more – it's just the way it is and why bother feeling weird about it!

Well, that's a little update on some of the transitions I'm going through. I have more, but I'm trying to do shorter, more frequent posting. Plus I'm a bit hormonal so I try to think before I post more.

Gestation 2.0

Our family is pleased to announce something very exciting and here is Lucian to give you the special news!

We Found Nemo!
We just had our first sonogram and got to see the little sea monkey's heart beat and watch it float around. (I swear, it looked like a sea monkey!) It was a very special and exciting time for all of us. Lucian watched the monitor intently. The sonogram technician tried to explain it to Lucian and said, "See the little baby? It's swimming around in Mommy's belly like a little fishy!" Lucian was observant to point his little finger at the screen and exclaim, "Look! Nemo!" So now you know why we'll be nicknaming this baby "Nemo" for a little while. I laughed so hard and it took me a little while to regain composure so we could continue with the rest of the sonogram. (It doesn't work very well when your belly is moving around due to giggling.)

The sonogram printouts are now proudly hanging our our fridge. They all look identical and I wish the picture was clearer, but it turns out we're not as far along as the OB thought we were. Based on the measurements, the sonogram technician adjusted our due date from October 30th to November 9th. I'm still hoping for a Halloween baby though because second babies are usually earlier and if this pregnancy has the same complications as Lucian's then they would take the baby early anyhow. We'll just have to wait and see. (Something I'm not very good at!)

There isn't much to see in the photo, but seeing the heartbeat in action was enough to at least make it feel just a little more real. It's still very surreal. I thought maybe sharing the news might help with that. We're only 8 weeks and 5 days along (not 10 weeks like we originally thought) so it feels odd to share the news so much sooner than we did the first time around, but the sonogram technician said it was safe to share because there was movement and a good heartbeat.

Here is Nemo's very first baby picture!

According to the sonogram measurements, our little "Nemo" is 5.9 cm long. That's the length of my pinky so now I can't stop looking at my little finger and day dreaming just a little.

Standard Gestational Operating Procedure
I've been feeling very tired and have been trying harder to get more rest. That's why this blog and other social places have been quiet or dormant for so long. Lucian has been much more demanding of my time. With a new family member coming, I'm also trying to cherish more of our time together while it's still just him and us. We sleep in and snuggle more in the mornings because Pre School is just around the corner. (and because gestation is hard work!!) I know I'll never get these times back so I like to hold on to them just a little longer now.

It's also why I've been a little more stressed about finances, but I'm sure this is all normal. (I'll go into more detail about other things later.) Another reason I've been quiet is because I hate keeping secrets! I'm good at it, but I hate doing it! I was so afraid I would slip and spill the beans, so now that we've been to our first sonogram I feel a little better about letting the cat out of the bag.

It's still very early and things could go wrong, but after seeing it yesterday, there isn't any point in keeping it a secret any longer. Our family has known now for a couple of weeks. I suppose if something were to go wrong, I'd rather have more support than none at all. These feelings are all standard gestational operating procedure, I'm sure. I'm certainly a lot more relaxed about most things this time around but I think I'm much, much more tired!!

It's hard to imagine I was working full time the first time around. I don't know how I had the energy! Now that I'm a stay-at-home-mom, I have to say, it was nothing compared to working 24/7 for a busy toddler!! You can't call in late to a toddler who wants his breakfast N-O-W just because you'd like to try and hold on to your cookies.

Overall, we're very happy because we've been trying since October of last year, so this is very welcome news for us. I was just beginning to wonder how much longer it would take so I feel relieved since I'm not getting any younger! Luckily, I'll be delivering just before my 35th birthday! Whew!

Back to Blogging
I'm really hoping to get back into blogging about my life. I didn't keep a journal during my pregnancy with Lucian because I just didn't have the time and I was working full time. I really wished I would have because now, more than ever, is when I would really like to reflect on my past experiences to help give me a little confidence boost here and there. Not like I have any more time now, but there is a bit more flexibility so I'm going to give it a try. This blog will still be geeky in nature so it won't be a complete baby diary. I still have plans for other posts, but you know how it is these days, life first and then, if the urge sticks, then it might make it into the blog.

I might also try to write more about some of my past pregnancy and delivery experiences with Lucian. My delivery experience, to me, was very, very traumatic and I haven't yet found the strength or courage to write about it, but maybe it will come. Since almost 3 years has passed, I know I don't remember details like I did when it was happening to me and that's probably a good thing. Anyhow, I'm just going to have to try because writing is very therapeutic for me.

Gestation is hard work, but it's one of the most rewarding experiences a human can experience so I welcome the challenges to come!

Stay tuned for more updates and I hope you feel as blessed and lucky as we do.

Singing the ABCs

Sorry it's been so quiet here lately. Been having some technical difficulties combined with just being so darn busy!
I've been missing blogging and hope to get back into it soon. I have lots of stuff to share. As usual, I'm backlogged. Some things though are just a matter of timing but soon all will be revealed!

Here is a little video Lucian and I recorded today after he got up from his nap. He loved to sing and pretends different objects are microphones.

The video freezes up, sorry about that. We'll try to make some more later when we're done planting our seeds for our new garden!!

twhurple

Hand-Made Mac Tip No. 10
Roll Your Own Color Scheme for twhirl

I love purple. It's my favorite color. It makes me happy. It makes me so happy that when an application allows color customization of some sort, I usually tweak it to some type of purple if I can.

I also love twhirl.

Twhirl has a color scheme called "Purple Rain" but it's just not quite purple enough for me. It's a little more on the pink side, but I really like the way it differentiates different types of messages using different hues. It's a nice feature in the UI that really helps me digest information quickly. I just love UI design and I can tell the twhirl development team has put a lot of work into this application.

I remembered reading somewhere in some support comments that you could change the color codes inside the xml files manually. I didn't know exactly what that meant so I went snooping around inside of the package contents for the application to see what was in there. This was a fun experiment and learning process for me.

I located the color schemes folder and then found the .xml files. I don't even know what xml is really but I'm always curious about code so I opened one of the files up to see if any of it would make sense to me. I always tell people I'm not a programmer type and I could not code my way out of a paper bag but one thing I do recognize is a little bit of html color code. So, I set out to start changing things and low and behold, I developed my very own purply goodiness color scheme for twhirl!

At first, I didn't know what colors corresponded to which design element of the UI, so I made a new xml file, named it "rainbowtest" and proceeded to change the color in each line of code to a different color — as many different colors as I could so that I could see what belonged where.

Here is what that looked like. Remeber, this is not an acid trip, it's just a test!

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Now that I could see what part was which color, I could begin to understand how the layout was constructed and how the colors worked together.

Next, I set out to start picking out a color palette that might work together. This was not as easy as I thought it would be. To begin the idea generation, I used this really great web tool called Color Scheme Designer. This is just an example of how I began thinking about how colors relate to each other.

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Here is a screen shot of my artboard in Adobe Illustrator. It took many trials to pick just the right colors to make sure messages and function buttons were readable. Several times I had to quit and restart twhirl so it could recognize the new xml file I copied into the twhirl/Contents/Resources/colorschemes folder.

I was having a hard time trying to decide two of the text colors. They needed to stand out and be very legible so my eyes wouldn't have to strain reading the small text. 16 point type is the maxium. It turns out, the colors in the twhirl logo seemed to work out nicely so I used an approximation of them based on a screen shot of the logo. I used the eye dropper tool in Adobe Illustrator to get an approximation and then further tweaked the colors to make them more readable against the color backgrounds I chose.

I am pleased with the final result and now have a twhirl color scheme that coordinates with my nice clean, empty (almost always because I'm a freak-job like that) purple desktop.

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Here is the final result without notation and development artboard.



















Here is part of the code that will give you the purple color scheme I created. Just replace the colors with these if you would like the same purple scheme I'm using. Blogger won't let me copy and paste the code for some reason. I shall call it "twhurple" and if you're brave enough to tweak and know what you're doing, I hope you might enjoy it as much as I do. Just don't blame me or twhirl if you break it, ok?

4D2E60
FFFFFF
644874
9D8BA7
CBFF82
FFFFFF
DCCDD5
C7D8D9
CFC8E9
000000
5E1AA0
57878A
57878A
FFFFFF
CBFF82
5E1AA0

If you've found this tweak useful and were able to successfully implement it, I would love to see a screen shot of your desktop if you wouldn't mind. Loic and #teamseesmic are also looking for screen shots of desktops featuring twhirl in action. It would be really fun to see if this could work out for someone else and how many other purple fanatics there are out there!

Have fun and follow me on twitter, seesmic or FriendFeed — all three of these services are available in one place using twhirl! Isn't that great?

Love Is...

My hand-made Valentine to you!
♡Melissa

My Favorite Characters

Hand-Made Mac Tip No. 9
Not the same as Love Potion No. 9, but almost as much fun!

You thought I was going to write about Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse? No, not those kinds of characters! These kinds of characters:
 ✭♡♥❦☮✍✌✓♫♪♺⌘⇧⌫⏏

Depending on which browser you're using to view this blog, you may not be able to properly view some or maybe even all of these characters. Assuming you're on a Mac and using the latest versions of Safari or Firefox, it shouldn't be an issue.

I thought with Valentine's Day here, you might enjoy a nice tip for getting to those cute little hearts and other fancy symbols quickly.

First you'll need to configure your International System Preference Pane and then you'll need to configure the Character Palette to show just your favorite or most-used characters. Once this is done, you'll be just 2 clicks away from accessing the characters you use on a regular basis.

I find this helpful for when I'm trying to communicate a set of instructions in which I can use the shortcut key symbols.

It's also fun to say things like:
I ♥ You. Let's book the next ✈ to New York and go hear some great ♬♪♫

Did you ✔ to see if the tickets are on sale?

Would you like for me to ☏ you at a special ⌚ ?

Did you remember to ♺ your paper?

Step 1. Configure your International Preference Pane available by selecting the System Preferences from the Apple Menu in the upper left hand corner of your screen.

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Step 2. You will see a little flag icon in your Menu Bar. Click on it once to reveal a drop-down menu from which you can select Show Character Palette.














Step 3. Configure your Character Palette by selecting your Favorite characters. Look closely at this screen shot (click to enlarge) and pay attention to each of the areas where you'll need to click. Make your Character Palette look like this. Select a character you want to favorite by clicking on it once to highlight it. Next, click on the cog wheel at the bottom and choose 'Add to Favorites' from the drop-down menu.

Repeat this step of selecting a character and then 'Add to Favorites' for each of the characters you'll use on a regular basis. When you're finished selecting characters, move on to the next step. (Don't worry, you can always keep adding more favorites.)

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Step 4. View your Favorites and now the Character Palette will always show just this section of Favorite characters by default each time. Whenever you need a character, just click once on the flag icon and then once to select 'Show Character Palette.' (two clicks! no waiting for a website to load them!)

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

I hope you find this tip useful!

It's twhirl for This Girl

Hand-Made Mac Tip No. 8
Take twhirl for a whirl and manage your social networking in one place.

I love using an application called twhirl for keeping in touch with my friends on twitter, in seesmic and on FriendFeed. Whatever I tweet as a status update (different than replying to someone) also gets fed directly into my FaceBook as my status there.

I pretty much always have twhirl running and I use Leopard's Spaces to make viewing all of the information manageable. Space 2 is designated for twirl and I give it a full desktop area with the largest font so my eyes don't strain to read the information. I have assigned a key command to Space 2: command-right arrow so I can quickly press that combination and swipe the whole thing out of my way quickly when I'm just checking in. Spaces is awesome once you get used to it and train yourself to use it in your work flow.

Here are some screen shots of my Spaces Preferences along with a view of my desktop on Space 2 featuring twhirl. (I've blocked out a few of the private messages in order to respect communication preferences.) Click on the images for a larger view.

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Sometimes I also use the Orange-Gray color scheme. It just depends on my mood.

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Here is another screen shot so you can see the text better. The color scheme is 'Purple Rain.' For my twitter and FriendFeed panels, I'm using the font Myriad Pro, 16 points. For my seesmic panel, I'm using the font Myriad Pro Condensed, 14 points. I've tweaked the settings to make it the most comfortable for my eyes. This font is the smoothest to me. I wish the color were more purple than pink, but overall it's the most pleasing color set to my eyes.

I decided to position the seesmic panel in the center since it feels the most intimate there for interacting with video recording. When the video recording screen pops up, the proximity is closest to the webcam where I can establish better eye contact.

I've positioned the twitter panel closest to the clock area of my desktop on the far right side. I also keep my twhirl Dock icon positioned in the lower right corner of the screen so my muscle memory is accustomed to clicking there for updating – both reading and writing. The text entry box is also at the bottom since my cursor always lands there.

Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Overall, this is my favorite app for viewing these kinds of messages. There are still some things I would love to be able to tweak like customizable color schemes and the ability to make different accounts a different color scheme. You can select from many different pre-existing schemes, but so far you can not change the colors within those schemes. I like the 'Purple Rain' and 'Orange Gray' color schemes the best. I like that there are subtle hues for different kinds of messages and different input areas. The color feedback is very important to me.

You can download twhirl for free and it works on Macs and PCs.
http://www.twhirl.org/

Sign up for a free seesmic account and, if you have a webcam and mic, you can record video messages all from the same application.
http://seesmic.com/

If you want to help improve this application, the development team is extremely responsive to suggestions using http://feedback.twhirl.org/

I hope you've enjoyed this little review and find it useful!

Fun With iGlasses

Hand-Made Mac Tip No. 7
Give your webcam a different point of view!

I've been having some fun with a piece of software called iGlasses and a piece of hardware called a Huckleberry. Here is an example of a response in a video conversation using seesmic. If you watch Freida's post, (embedded below mine so you can see the post to which I was replying) she demonstrates many of the settings available in iGlasses for use with your webcam. (Alternatively, you can click on the arrow icon inside the video or view the other videos in the conversation underneath the video to see more of the dialog we had in seesmic.)

(Sorry if my audio is a little blown out in some spots. Adjusting your volume before playback might be a good idea.)

Check Out Them Apples!

25 years. Wow. I can't believe it's been that long. The Macintosh was released in 1984 and I was in the fourth grade. Later on in high school, I attended a Vocational Technical school where I studied Commercial Art. I'll never forget getting Macs and all the fun (and naughty) things we designed with them. The technology was so new in our school that we were literally teaching our instructor how to use it! Aldus Pagemaker was the design and layout application of choice. System 7 was the operating system and After Dark was loaded on the computers as the screen saver application. We used to love watching the flying toasters and the lawnmower man!

In my senior year I took a screen printing course. The teacher had been on a waiting list for a single Mac and finally got one. By that time, I had some experience using a Mac, so I spent most all of my class time showing my teacher all the things you could do on it. By mid semester, I was designing the high school physics teacher's wedding invitations on it. (Interestingly, I married a physics teacher — it was a sign!)

As the course progressed, I fell behind on the projects I was supposed to have been working on and I was very worried I would fail the class and not be able to graduate. I pleaded with my teacher, asking if there was something I could do to bring my grades up. He looked at me over the top of his glasses and told me that he had considered failing me. My heart began to sink. Then he said the reason he'd like to fail me (but couldn't) was just so he could keep me around for another year to teach him how to use the Macintosh!

From that time on, I can't remember a time when the Macintosh was not a part of my life. I was nineteen years old working as a typesetter and production artist for a department store ad agency when I got the sweatshirt you see pictured above. It was a promo that came with one of the Macs our production department had recently purchased and my manager tossed it on a table so I grabbed it. I still have it and dug it out of my closet just for this post! (I think the Macs we used back then were Performa 6300s.)

It's just amazing thinking about how far Apple and the Macintosh has come in twenty five years. I'm happy to have been a Mac user for the majority of this time period and even happier to be using Macs for the years ahead. I really believe the best is yet to come.

A couple of days ago I hung out with the guys from MyMac Magazine to reminisce about Macs for the 25th anniversary of the Macintosh. Check out the podcast and you can hear Tim read some of my comments from the chat room. It's always a good time geeking out with those guys! We talked about classic pranks and troubleshooting. Talking about extensions gave me a twitch and I vaguely miss making cheat sheets for Zaph Dingbats.

They're running a contest, so you might want to check it out soon!

I take Made on a Mac to heart. I met my husband on a Mac.
I'm raising my child on a Mac. I make a living using a Mac.
I manage my life on a Mac.

What do you do with your Mac?

Dancing for Hope

LDObamaDance from TheMacMommy on Vimeo.

The hope we had back on August 28th, during The Democratic National Convention, has paid off and we now have Barack Obama as our 44th President of the United States of America. Here is some home video footage from that time. We are overjoyed that Mr. Obama with his lovely wife and daughters are now our new Presidential family.

From our family living room to yours, here is our goofy son expressing his happiness at seeing Obama on TV at the DNC. That time seems so long ago and now the day has finally come to see the first of our hopes already being fulfilled.

Let's keep on giving our children a reason to dance and sing.

My Life. My blog. My rules.

I'm not taking my blog down, but I admit I had considered it for a few minutes after I got attacked by trolls who posted nasty comments here and other places. I have seen trolls on others' blogs, but never my own! I guess people are getting desperate. I've now received a spiteful email and been sent a friend request on FaceBook (most likely a trick based on the person's profile — much harder to trust anyone associated with this now!) One went as far as to pick on an older entry and the nasty comment was directed at my son.

That's where I draw the line.
______________________________________________

My comments are now moderated because I refuse to take any crap from anyone. Negative comments will be filtered and simply deleted from now on. I never had to do this before now and it's sad that it's come to this, but this is part of digital life so I am learning.

Thankfully, I'm still here.

Know why?

In addition to being supported by my wonderful husband, it's because a community of people I either didn't realize I had — or perhaps even took for granted — spoke up after I posted to twitter, my steam vent at times, that I was considering taking down my blog because a negative comment aimed at my son went over the line.

One friend even called me on the phone to make sure I was alright. Another friend emailed me with kind words and a link to some very thoughtful and motivating insight on the matter. Yet another friend, from across the pond, emailed me with words of inspiration and motivation to push on.

I am truly overwhelmed by the support and I am so grateful for everyone's encouragement!

Nobody puts Baby in the corner.










My microblog, serves as several different things to me. It is, among other things I haven't yet thought of, my: Personal Journal, Mini Baby Journal, Idea Storage, Think Tank, place to share ideas and thoughts, outreach for tech support, place to chat with other parents, Favorite Bar, Research Bank, News Reel, News Source, Macintosh Community, Social Media Community, Steam Vent, Comic Relief, place to help others and give back to the community, and especially tonight, it was a place to send a smoke signal.

I just figured that last one out. I didn't realize what had happened when I posted that and how it would affect others. I thought I was just venting but I realize now, I was really frustrated by a new and negative experience and wanting to pound on a shoulder I didn't think was there. Except, a shoulder WAS there and not one, but several! It's amazing how many people have experienced this same emotion and frustration and they have all found ways to deal with it. Then they turned around and shared their ideas with me through phone calls, emails, replies and direct messages.

So, I just wanted to say Thank You for the encouragement. You have no idea how much it means to me.

Get Well Steve

Dear Steve,

I heard you were taking some time off to focus on getting well. I think that's a great idea.

A lot of people are concerned about you. A lot of people are pretending to be concerned about you but they're really worried about their stock portfolios. I guess they just don't get it. Perhaps if those people would focus more on their creative portfolios, they would see the fun and greatness in the many Apple products I've enjoyed for the past nineteen years.

I hope you get to spend some quality time with your family. That new face recognition feature in iPhoto looks pretty sweet. I imagine you'll be spending time playing with that during your time off.

I, for one, am confident you're in good hands. It will all iWork out.

Take care,
Melissa Davis
TheMacMommy

Sam's Club Photo Center - Thumbs Down

Update:

After seeing this post, one of my fellow blogging friends, who was one of the WalMart Moms, pulled some strings for me and got me in contact with upper management and they were able to resolve the problems. They were very good about it. It's just a shame it had to go there. What if I hadn't been a blogger with influential friends?

I'm glad they fixed the problem, were cooperative and apologetic. I'm still wary of using Sam's Club for their services around the holidays, but at least now I know I need to do this type of thing way far in advance. I'll try again sometime and try to provide an updated review if things have improved.

Today, on 1/12/2009, I spoke to Christina in Sam's Club customer service for the online division. She noted a "quality isssue" and "refund" along with investigating the mysterious $6.53 charge as well as why there was a $0.05 discrepancy between the invoiced and actual charged price for greeting cards I ordered for our 2008 holiday cards. Christina tells me she only sees 2 of the 4 online orders under my name in the system currently. These orders were placed shortly before Christmas and the day after. I have asked for a refund and that the mistakes be corrected at no additional charges. I'm currently awaiting a follow up on this call.

Until then, here is what I'd like to share:

Ordering Christmas gifts for my family this past year (2008) from Sams Club proved to be a truly disappointing experience. This was not the first time I have been let down by the Sam's Club Photo Department. In 2005, the Reading, PA location ruined my wedding photos and inconvenienced family members and myself in having to go back to the department to have prints corrected. Despite the negatives and compositions being correct, heads and other body parts were cut off on prints and digital files saved to CDs. Imagine getting a great shot of the Father and Bride dance only to get the photo back and the Father's head is cut off! Or a photo which had been correctly centered by the photographer and the print being returned with the feet cut off and a black bar at the top of the print! The experience was extremely unprofessional and a major disappointment to a new bride.

Now that I live and shop at a different Sam's Club — on the other side of the country, my recent experiences had been more positive. The online photo ordering and 1-hour pick up has been great. Although not perfect, the online uploading interface has been slightly improved from last year. I can use drag and drop directly from iPhoto into the Sam's Club Photo Center website using Safari.

I really enjoyed the experience when I used Sam's Club Photo Center Online for my Holiday Greeting Cards this past year. It was relatively easy and quick and I got them within an hour.

Instant gratification is very popular with me.

I even ordered a second set right away when I realized I was going to run out of cards. I didn't even have to do that part online as I was able to phone the re-order in since they still had my data in the system. The young man on the phone was even pleasant. (Once I could understand what he was saying when he answered the phone!)

In October I had ordered photo gifts in the form or a coffee mug and magnets to send to my Nana and she received them on her birthday and was completely delighted. After those experiences, I had nothing but a positive experience to expect for the holidays when I decided to order photo gifts to send to my family as Christmas presents.

I placed a total of four online orders and over to $150.00. (after taxes and shipping charges were tacked on.) Two of those orders were 1-hour pick ups at my local store to give to family here, and the other two were to be delivered to two different addresses out east in time for the holiday season. These were to be gifts the whole family could enjoy and I was excited to be able to have everything shipped to just 2 locations out east to be divied out among the family members when they were all together celebrating the holidays.

Everything was going smoothly until I went to place the fourth order to be delivered to a different address. I could get all the way through the ordering process but I could no longer get to the part where it would process the order and charge my account. There was no communication from the website that there were any problems or errors. Four times in a row it just sent me into a loop and I'd end up right back at the beginning again. Since I deal with computer "problems" for a living, I checked all of the usual computer/web related issues that could occur such as emptying the cache, reloading the page, logging out and logging back in and even switching web browsers. Nothing would allow me to place an order like I had done the previous three times in a row. So, I waited a day which prolonged the delay in getting these Christmas presents out to my family. This began my frustration and overall disappointment.

I still had no luck after a day, so I called and spoke to a customer service representative who told me that they were aware of the problems the site was having and that Fuji was working to resolve the issues. Huh, nice of them to let the online customer know! (An error message would have been nice.) She said that at the time I called, no photo department service personnel were available but that she would enter an encounter and someone would be calling me back.

I never got a call back. Good thing I didn't hold my breath.

I tried again to process the same order online. The Online Sams Club Photo Center never once communicated any problems or issues with the processing of orders. (Despite being told that "Fuji was on it.") Finally, out of desperation to get the gifts out for Christmas of the currrent year, I processed the order as a local pick up instead of having the items shipped directly to the relative. Even though I asked my family ahead of time, this was a huge inconvenience for my family members to go and have to pick up their own gifts on separate occasions as not all of the items were delivered to their local store at the same time. One of my relatives was even given poor treatment when he went to pick up his gift at the location. Not only was it not his fault that the gift wasn't delivered to him like it was intended, but then on top of it he was treated poorly by the staff!

We all know that the holidays are a stressful time, but shame on Sam's Club for using this as an excuse to dole out shoddy customer service all around.

As you may already know, photo printing and ordering services are big on my list of services and products I use and my product reviews for this have gotten lots of traffic. I was planning on reviewing Sams Club again this year to compare to the review I did last year. I was really hoping to be able to write up a positive review recommending Sam's Club as a reputable photo gift service. I am sad to say that I can not do that this year at this time.

Sam's Club Online Photo Center did not deliver for me this year.

Literally.

The local 1-hour pickup is handy and I will continue to use that service, but I will continue looking for something else to replace it since we are considering switching to COSTCO for our bulk purchasing. Not only might Sam's Club be losing a regular photo department customer, they might also be losing a regular store and vision department customer as well.

If people keep reading my reviews, they might even lose more customers. It could happen.

We'll see what happens and what other services I find this year to compare to theirs and how they stack up.

Of course, if you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment!

Here is a list of things Sam's Club can do to win me back:
If I don't hear back from them soon, this is part of what may go into a letter after discussing most of this on the phone already.

#1
I am disputing a charge on my checking account statement for $6.53 on 12/25 (transaction date) charged on 12/26 listed as "SamsClub.com" I do not have any receipts reflecting this charge and no record of it anywhere. (And I KEEP pretty good records.) I would like an explanation of this charge and a refund if it is found to be an error.


#2
I would like to be refunded $22.56 (the cost of the 6 magnets that were not properly produced.) Each magnet had a white line running down the right side. All, but 2 of the photos were different. The error was consistently reproduced on not only all 6 magnets, but my mother also received an envelope from the "Wal Mart Return Center" containing an additional 6 magnets and they all had the same error as well. I only placed an order for 6 magnets as the confirmation I received below reflects. I do not know why an additional 6 magnets were sent because they were not corrected.

The order needs to be corrected and re-shipped at no charge to the same address as the original order.

Thank you for placing your order with the Sam's Club Online Digital Photo Center. We received your order and will begin processing it soon. Your order information appears below for your review.Order Number: xxxxxxxxxxxx
Contact Information: xxxxxxxxxxxx
Payment Method: Card Number: Visa xxxxxx Authorization Number: xxxxxxxxxxxxx
12/21/2008
Order Details:
Qty Item Price
1 11 oz Coffee Mug @ $9.87 $9.87
6 Magnet (3x4) @ $3.76 $22.56
59 4x6 @ $0.0834 from complimentary prints $2.00
1 5x7 @ $0.34 $0.34
1 US Mail $20.50
Subtotal: $55.27
US Tax $3.32
Total $58.59
*All prices are in US dollars.
Delivery Information: xxxxxxxxx
Please allow 2-3 weeks to process gift orders and 2-4 days for prints. Shipping time applies after your order has been processed.
We will send you an e-mail when your order has been completed. To check the status of your order, click here.
(NEVER GOT ANY OF THESE EMAILS)

#3
On 12/20/20008 at location #6692 AZxxxxxxxx $11.35 was charged to my checking account on 12/22/2008 but the confirmation I received said the price would be $11.30 so I'm not understanding why the nickel difference. I would like that explained.
Thank you for placing your order with the Sam's Club Online Digital Photo Center. We received your order and will begin processing it soon. Your order information appears below for your review.
Order Number: xxxxxxxxxx
Contact Information: Melissa Davis
520-207-1815
Order Details:
Qty Item Price
1 Wishing you a Joyous Holidays & Happy New Year
pickup after 5:35 PM* on 12/20/2008 @ $10.50 $10.50
Subtotal: $10.50
US Tax $0.80
Total $11.30

#4
Please improve your website! The drag and drop uploader is STILL lacking from last year in both Safari and Firefox for the Mac. (Especially in Firefox 3 for the Mac.)

GET WITH THE PROGRAM!

Two words: iPhoto. Picasa.

Sam's Club really needs to take a look at the sales in Apple's laptop line. People like their photos and they like their photo gifts. I just worked with a client who used Apple's online photo services for ordering his photo gifts. One big reason was because I could not confidently recommend Sam's Club to him. That could have been a few hundred dollars in Sam's Club photo products that was lost due to lack of development for the Mac platform.

I really hope to hear back from Sam's Club — and soon. Right now I'm being nice even though I've taken a lot of crap from them. Finances are much much tighter now and I can literally no longer afford to accept anything less than perfection from services where I spend our ever shrinking budget. I hope Sam's Club as well as other places keep this in mind moving forward this year and in the future of our uncertain financial crisis.

What photo services do YOU enjoy? Drop me a line!

80sphotoday Meme

There is an #80sphotoday meme on twitter at the moment. (probably over by the time you read this.) I'm a sucker for the 80s because I survived it despite how much of my brain was eaten away with hairspray and CFCs. So I thought it might be fun to post it here. If you have a similar blog meme or a link to your twitter meme, link it in the comments for fun!

I thought it would be fun to put my 80s pics here to amuse my son later in life if he decides to read this and see what a dork his mom was.

wait.

still is. ;)

Here is me as part of TV Crew which was infinitely cooler than being part of Motley Crüe. You know — because you didn't get crabs from TV Crew. I've blocked out the girl to my right to protect the innocent. And because I wouldn't want her to google herself some day and discover her photo linked to something with crabs and 80s hair bands. That just wouldn't be kewl.

Yeah. I'm also hoping if my son is reading this, by then, he's old enough to know what crabs are and that you can get them at Joe's in Jersey. (NJ)

Here is me in high school. Just one of the many big, bad-ass hair days. Please do not smoke near this picture. Your computer might ignite.

Hard to believe I actually have even MORE hair than that right now. This time though, it's no longer processed and is completely straight. (although sometimes I swear a pack of racoons sneak into my room and put dreads in it so I look like Bob Marley when I wake up.) I think I way overdid it with the perms and crap back then and I do not miss those days!

Right now my hair is around 37 inches long. One of these days when I can't take the headaches any longer, I'll get some of it cut off and donate it to Locks of Love. I'm just not quite ready, but I'll be sure to let you know when I am. I've already checked with one of my BFFs back east and she said I have enough for two pony tails to donate.

Ugh! I'm so glad I don't do anything with my hair like that anymore! Now I have more time to, um, blog? Maybe.

Geek Engagement Announcement

I am in geek heaven RIGHT NOW! I just saw the coolest thing and I just HAVE to share it with everyone.

I would like to announce
Christina Warren
&
Grant Robertson
are now engaged!

Congratulations!
Here is a picture of Christina's ring. Nice job Grant!

How do I know this? It happened on Twitter just hours ago. I follow them both and I am so very happy for them!

How cool is it to say you got engaged at Macworld!?

@grobertson said this:














and
@film_girl said this:










You can congratulate the happy couple by tweeting them (click on links above) and digging them here.

Why am I so excited?
1. Because I met my husband online over 4 years ago and we have been very happily married ever since and have a beautiful child together.
2. To witness someone else beginning their new life together online is beautiful to me. (Not sure if they met online – they have been together for some time – but getting engaged online is just as sweet!)
3. I literally have shivers (I think they call it squee.)
4. To geeks like us, this is an extremely romantic proposal!

Congratulations to you Christina and Grant! I wish you all the happiness and joy and a wonderful future together, just like my husband and I! You're going to have a blast!

Christina, have fun planning a wedding! It will be one of the best times in your life. My husband and I eloped and then planned a wedding from 3000 miles away.
Let me know if you ever have any questions!

How To Virtually Attend Macworld 09

I'm attending Macworld 2009!
Sort of. from my couch or dining room table. where I'll be folding laundry. Wanna join me?
Select a few of these links and open them in new tabs across the top of your browser. Happy clicking!

Here is the start of an interactive media list I'm generating. I will try to update this list as I see more. My idea was to make a list of all my favorite hot spots in one place and share it with you. I might even be reinventing the wheel here, but it's been fun making this list for myself. If you have any links you care to share, please feel free to put them in comments and I'll add it to the list and re-link to this post out into the ether.

Live Blogging - Keynote on Tuesday, January 6th at 9:00 am PT
TUAW The Unofficial Apple Weblog

Macgasm

Engadget

Gizmodo

Live Chat
Ning Networks
MyAppleSpace

FriendFeed Rooms - View FriendFeed Rooms in real-time mode and it's like a live chat
Macworld Expo

The Apple Room

VentureBeat's Macworld 2009 Keynote Live Coverage

Microblogging
Twitter - search using keywords and hashtags and view in real time
#mwsf09

#Macworld

Follow on Twitter
@TUAW_MWSF09

@TUAW

Photos
Flickr
Macworld 2009

Macworld Expo 2009

Videos
Qik
Leo Laporte and TWiT Qik

Liana Lehua's Qik

Websites & Blogs
Macworld Expo

Mac.Alltop.com

TUAW

Macworld Bound

Schedules & Event Planning
Official Macworld Expo Site

http://macworld09.theappleblog.com/

Ilenes Machine

Upcoming
MacWorld Monday Tweetup

Macworld Expo



Steve and Apple Will Be Fine

There is a lot of hoopla surrounding the health of Steve Jobs and whether or not Apple will survive without him should he retire or become too ill to continue as CEO of Apple.

Steve will be just fine. I'm not really that worried since he wrote to me and told me he would be eating his veggies more often. He's been so busy running Apple that he hasn't had as much time as he'd like to spend with his family, so cut the guy some slack. I can certainly relate to that. I'm sure Steve just wants to sit in front of his 32-foot cinema display and crank out some iMovies and slide shows of his kids from the past few years he may have missed out on planning for Macworld.

DM me on twitter Steve, I'll tell you where you can mail to me your latest iDVD projects.

Just for fun, I'm dedicating this song to Steve Jobs. I'm sure he's probably got it in his iPhone already.



I've been a Mac user since 1990 and I don't plan on using anything else no matter who gives the Keynote tomorrow or the next time. I'm sure there will be more Keynotes or some other kinds of love letters to come; they just might not be delivered from a stage in front of a big screen with some dude holding a clicker in his hand. Come on now, Uncle Steve is savvy with the times. He knows he can just email me a link or put up an iTunes feed. I'll click it. The carbon footprint is so much smaller on that anyhow.

Afterall, it is The start of a new era.



Funk 49

What keeps YOU from blogging?

Sleep all day, party all night? Me too. Or, somethin like that. except without the partying part.

Actually, I micro-blog every day almost, but it's not aggregated here on the big blog. I wonder if I should do that so I wouldn't feel like I was neglecting this space so much. I have so many plans for this space but it was really hard to find the time when we had family visiting these past few weeks.

Now, where did I put that To Do list?

Which one?

I've tried implementing Twitter and Tumblr on here, but it makes the blog load so slooooow.

I'll think of something.

Maybe I'll try to put using the F12 blogger widget back into my workflow. Right now, my thoughts are just so random and fleeting and that's not usually my style for my blog. I like my blog posts to be more complete and better thought out. Pretty-looking even.

Maybe it's time for a change?

Sometimes my OCD gets in the way because of having to craft a title for each post? Hmmmm. Maybe I should resort to a Deep Thoughts from Jack Handy format with numbers. Then I'd have to keep track of the numbers. Meh.

Is there some random automatic blog post title generator that makes something nice looking that makes sense? You know, for us lazy people.

Ok, back to finishing the email back to my husband that I started an hour ago. Oh, wait. I already sent that out. What was I doing? Oh yeah. Making a list and clic

so many distractions, so little time.

publish.

Happy New Year

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and spent it surrounded by people they care about. Despite having the flu on Christmas day, I still managed to enjoy my holiday because I was surrounded by family and friends at all times. Being stuck in bed gave me a chance to take a break and reflect on all the people I'm grateful for in my life and how that number keeps growing.

There have been some setbacks along the way. We don't have a lot of money and I can't always get the things I want. That sucks, but I try to get over it and move on. Lucky for me, I don't need a lot of money to be with the people and get the things I need most in my life.

I don't want a pony, but an iPhone or a BlackBerry sure would be a lot of fun. I don't NEED either, but if I can somehow find a way to be resourceful, maybe my work will be rewarded and I can somehow find a way to justify the expense so it isn't just an additional expense. I believe I could grow my skills with a smart phone, I just have to figure out how to fit it in my lifestyle.

In 2009 my goal is to focus on the skills I have, to keep building on them and to keep being resourceful. I do not want to become obsolete.

How do you plan on keeping yourself from becoming obsolete this year?

I have tons of pictures and movies to comb through. Products and services to review and projects to produce. Content creation is in abundance and backlogged. I just need a clone who will manage my time more wisely than I've been able to.

2009 will be the Year of the Bootstrapping Mamma!

Check out my Podcast

Moms Gone Geek

Subscribe in iTunes

for free

(launches iTunes Store)