It's a Dark Day for TheMacMommy

Well, the days has come. They day I knew would probably come and even tried so hard to guard against. I am writing this post on my good 'ol noisy G4 that I have since bestowed upon Hubby. Why? The MacBook Pro is drying out upside down, laying on my pillow. Yes, Lucian decided that the laptop was thirsty and so he gave it a drink of some diluted apple juice.

Sigh.

I watch as the clock ticks by till the time when I can boot the laptop back up and hope and pray I hear that musical chime of the startup. It happened at 1:00 pm this afternoon, so it will be around that time tomorrow afternoon before I attempt to put the battery back in it and press the power button.

I will now truly live up to my moniker of The MacMommy because I feel like I am literally "Mommying" my MBP, letting it lay on my pillow while it weeps diluted apple juice tears, letting it rest and hoping it gets better and recovers. I go in every now and then and touch it and look at it and speak softly to it and kiss it. Ok, just kidding about the kissing part.

It is painful to type on my old keyboard on the G4 right now because I am really noticing the speed gap in processing power from this G4 to the MBP. The letters seems to lag behind the cursor as I type. Bleh. I don't know how Hubby puts up with this, but I suppose it's better than the blueberry iMac he did have which is now the brain of Lucian's tangerine iMac in his room. Sorry boys, Mamma's got the need for speed!

What pisses me off is I KNEW this would happen eventually and there isn't much of a way to prevent it save being extremely careful...yeah, yeah, yeah, don't keep liquids near the damn thing...oh just bite me! I have a toddler for crying out loud. I don't know what padded cell those people live in but come to my house and design a machine that is toddler proofed and you'll get my seal of approval. Sony or whoever makes one of those what do they call it, a tough book or something like that. Well, if it ran OS X and was as powerful as a Mac, I would buy one but hey, the Mac Book Pro is everything I need to be happy and make some ROI. If only it weren't so damn perty and more durable.

Well, we will find out just how durable this thing is after tomorrow. We'll see if it survives yet another toddler attack we can add to the list. Prior attacks include: a 30 lb. toddler standing on it, Lucian wiping his boogers on it, being dropped onto carpet, yanking on the screen, banging on the keys, scratches, slamming the screen shut while smiling and running away saying Bye Bye, wiping banana sludge on it, yanking the power cord out of it repeatedly (thank God for Mag-safe) and sliding it under the sofa to hide it only for someone to sit on the sofa and drill a part of the sofa frame into the lid. Yeah, that produced a nice looking ding on the lid.

All I can say is that the thing looks loved, let me tell ya. Maybe I'll take some pictures of it some time.

Oh yeah, about that. Lucian also broke the digital camera yesterday. He is on a roll. Luckily, after much sweating and teeth grinding and complaining to Hubby about it, finally I stuck my fingernail in the edge of the shutter and tried seeing if perhaps a grain of dirt got in it and thankfully something came loose and the shutter finally closed and now the camera works again.

Well, Hubby and Dr. Destructor are now hangin with me in the computer lounge a.k.a the home office and it's just a matter of time before he finds something else to feed or play with or otherwise break in which case he will be put up for adoption.

Anyone want a really cute 30 lb. toddler? He comes with computer hacking skills. Leave a comment if you want me to drop him off.

Wednesday's Walk

Contributions to Kid-kind
Last Wednesday, I took Lucian to the U of A to participate in a Tweety Language Development Lab study. Lucian participated in the 19 and 20 months study. There is also a Baby Pictures link.

He did really well in the study. I love participating in their studies because I think it's so important that they do the work they do to further the education and understanding of issues like autism, learning disabilities, and speech development. It's just one small way I feel like we can contribute to society and it brings me peace knowing we might be helping in some small way.

Primal Defense Mechanism
After our time at the lab, since we were so close, we headed over to a near-by playground. I happen to spot it near 4th Avenue (where we were headed anyhow) and saw some brightly colored and modern-looking playground stuff. Plus there looked to be a mother and daughter playing at the swings, so I thought maybe I might feel safer with another parent around.

So, I unloaded him and got him in the stroller along with the diaper bag and we headed for the area where the other kid and Mom were hanging out. Once I got there, I couldn't really tell if it was the girl's Mom or her babysitter, but it didn't matter, it was company.

I have to say that this quickly turned into an unpleasant experience. Long story short, the lady and her kid were done playing and decided to leave. Then there were too many homeless people hanging around and some icky lookin guy decided he was going to walk his dog near my stroller and diaper bag. I got all panic-stricken and had to rush over to the stroller and get the diaper bag out for fear he would somehow run off with it right there in broad day light. The guy probably got offended, but truthfully, I don't give a shit. In the midst of going over to the diaper bag, which was about 10 feet away, I had to leave Lucian unattended to for 30 seconds in which time he took a spill on the climbing thing he was on and then I felt horrible about it. I have decided that am just way too paranoid to be at a playground by myself.

Have you even watched birds while they peck at crumbs on the ground? You know how they twitch and jerk their heads around because their eyes are on the sides of their heads and they are constantly fending off predators or looking for food? You know how if you try to go up to a bird, they freak out and fly away? Well, that's how I felt at the play ground. I was all twitchy and I kept turning my head this way and that because I thought someone was coming near us. I was making myself dizzy with how much I was looking around constantly on the defense of my child. I swear, it's like this primal defense mechanism kicks in. I truly consider myself to be a very kind and caring and compassionate person. I don't like violence and I really don't stand for it, but I swear, something just comes over me now that I've never experienced before. I get this feeling that if ever I were in some kind of confrontation with someone, like a crazy person at a playground, and they were after my kid, I would seriously do some damage to a person in defense of my child if I felt they were trying to harm him. I just think there is something about motherhood, you get these chemicals in your body you didn't have there before and your child becomes so precious to you that you feel like an angry cougar ready to pounce. I don't like this feeling but yet, somehow, it just seems normal in the grand scheme of things kind of like watching the National Geographic or something like that.

I just HATE this feeling of helplessness when it comes to taking my kid to the park to play. Public parks and playgrounds should be safe places for moms and kids, but they just aren't. They are havens for weirdos. I hate being there alone and no matter how nice and clean the park looks, there are always questionable people hanging around and it makes me so nervous. I just won't go anymore unless Hubby is with me or a group of other mothers and kids. I need to find me one of those play date group things. I am so inexperienced when it comes to hanging with other mothers and little kids. I've done it a few times and I always feel like a goof. I only have a couple of other mommy friends that I've hung with comfortably, but they all work FT. I need to find some SAHM friends to hang out with. I so could have called this one Mom that has offered to meet me, but did I have her phone number with me at the time, nope. (Sorry Stacy) I'd like to think I'm more organized than that but I guess I'm not. I did plug her number in my cell phone finally, so maybe this week I will give her a call. I have no idea why I have such a problem doing this. Normally, I am so outgoing and can make a friend in the grocery store. I don't get me sometimes. There is always some excuse for not getting out and then when the mood strikes me, it rains. (Hint: it doesn't rain a lot in Tucson) When I finally DO get out, then it dawns on me that I could have planned a play date! Duh!

Head Out to the Hippie District
So, after the whole playground mental disaster, we made like a baby and headed out, got back in the car and drove to Fourth Avenue. I like to call Fourth Avenue The Hippie District. If you've even been there, you would know why. I wish I had some pics to share of it because it's a very interesting looking place. Lots of interestingly decorated building and murals on the sides. It is not uncommon to see lots of creative fashion sense, piercings of all kinds, tattoos and college kids roaming around. Probably because you can buy it all in the little shoppes that sell their wares on the strip. There are a couple of bars, tattoo and piercing parlors and retro clothing shoppes. Sometimes there are 'live' musicians playing on the sidewalk. Just about every store you pass smells like they are covering up the smell of pot with the smell of incense. There are several head shops on the strip. Don't ask me how I know that, just take my word for it. I'm not THAT liberal (anymore) but I like to window shop, ok. If you hear a bong percolating in the background, it's certainly not mine, but there is a hookah lounge that looks interesting. There is even a place to buy hydroponic herbs. Yeah, and Dave's not home either, wink wink. Herbs, riiiiiiight.....next to the oregano.....wow, this spaghetti is reeeeely good, what's in this stuff?

Herbs. Just lots of herbs.

I really like Fourth Avenue because it's the kind of place where I can walk and let my hair down – all the way down, since it's now past my waist. I normally keep it up in a pony tail because I can't think when it's down, but strolling around The Hippie District, it feels good to let it down and hang out in the sunshine. It's the kind of place where you could walk around in shorts without having clean shaven legs and no one would bat a fake pink eyelash at you. I keep my hairy legs covered though, thankyouverymuch. Even I don't want to look at that in the reflection of some glass door. Bleh.

I really enjoy taking Lucian for a walk in the stroller up and down Fourth Avenue because the sidewalks are nice and even for the most part and just about every cross section has the scalloped curbs so I can easily navigate the stroller up and down. It is a very bike- and people-friendly place for walking. Lots of stuff to see and smell. (Incense, lots of incense...I think.) The people-watching aspect is always very interesting as well. So, we had a good time. Well, actually Lucian napped most of the time laying down in his stroller, so I had a good time walking and getting some much needed exercise and sunshine. It was a good place and opportunity to clear my mind and feel so much more relaxed than the trauma I had experienced at the park. (Perhaps smelling all that incense had something to do with it.)

I guess I need to find some big hippie park where they have a big hookah in the middle of the merry go round and maybe I wouldn't be so tense and other people would feel safe with this old cougar. Grrrrr!

Tuesdays with Melissa

Last Tuesday evening, I began teaching my weekly adult technology class at the local high school. It's a course called "OS X Tips and Tricks." I am very pleased to report that I have 11, count em' – eleven students enrolled in my course. I am thrilled about it! Four of the students are 'repeat offenders' - ha ha ha - who took my course last Spring as well. The first night I opened with a meet and greet and Q and A session. Worked out well to just address questions and get to know the people since we couldn't log into the computers anyhow. Thankfully, they fixed it for tonight's class. It always makes me nervous dealing with the school's computer lab and no available tech support. I'm glad I finally have a laptop so I can at least have something to show for if I get hosed by the lab's ability to function.

It is extremely difficult to conduct a class for the public in a school environment. There are so many blocks and speed bumps with which to contend. I'm not really complaining, because I used to be a Site Tech and I know what it's like and how hard it is to make everyone happy. I prided myself on making my site a technology fortress, but that was cause for protecting the little students from the harms of technology.

Of course, I also ran a tight ship just as well as to keep the kids from intentionally and "accidentally" screwing things up beyond repair. I hope I remember to tell the story some day about the kid who will go down in Site Tech History as the "what I call my ass" kid. Makes me giggle just thinking about it. I have to find some way to post about it without disclosing anything too personal just in case his mother or someone in-the-know ever reads this blog. Ah, memories. I still have his apology letter, among others. I saved apology letters I've received from kids just in case they become famous one day so I can ebay them for millions. Hey! It could happen!

It's just a totally different ball game when it comes to working with adults and in the public sector. There is no amount of 'splaining I could do to make anyone comprehend the challenges of this task, but I simply just have to work with what I have and do what I feel I do best, which is to be creative.

I sort of warned them of these conflicts when it comes to using a school lab and they seemed to understand so that makes me relax a little more. We discussed some of the burning questions they had about learning to use and understand the Mac better and they all turned in a written set of topics that they would like to explore. I am super excited that 2 of them are PC switchers. This will be fun.

I told myself that I wasn't going to put a lot of effort into creating detailed lesson plans, but I lied. I was up till 5:30 the other morning working on them – again. I just can't help myself. I just enjoy it too much. It makes me feel so alive sharing knowledge with others. I love showing people how to do something and watch the light bulb go off. It just brings me joy. I guess it also helps me understand why my husband does what he does day in and day out. I still can't relate to dealing with teenagers, but give me little kids and older people and I love to work with them.

I have so many ideas bouncing around in my head when it comes to the lesson plans I'm developing for this class. One of my biggest fears is that there will be something I will forget to show them and I'll regret it. But, I have faith in myself that I'll cover the things I want to cover. That's why I'm working so hard on putting together an outline to keep me focused and serve as a check list. I'm having a good time developing it even if it means losing a little sleep (which I'm not getting anyhow) or leaving the laundry go another day.

Tonight's class started out disorganized despite my efforts to be most organized. I even made myself a check list before I left the house. I did get to check off most the the things, so that was cool. The biggest problem tonight was dealing with the lab equipment. It took for-eh-ver to get the damn printer to play nicely. It kept jamming on me and running out of paper. I was trying to print out and hand out to them my outline I worked so hard on so they would have something to reference. I knew they were going to ask a question about something I had already spelled out on the outline and with only an hour and a half, it's just not enough time to cram everything in so that's why I supplement with other information they can review.

Hopefully, now that they each have a copy of the course outline in progress, it will help so they have a better idea of what to expect. Once the document is a little more refined, maybe I'll post it for download on my website for others to review. BTW, the pic in the beginning is a link, or should be, to what looks like a decent Mac basics blog. I haven't had time to check the whole thing out yet, but from what I've seen so far, looks pretty cool.

Is It Sunday Already?

Distraction 101
Well, I just got done spending some time reading some of my favorite blogs and then some others and then some others. I swear, this can not be good for people with ADHD. I'm beginning to wonder if I have it. I can not focus on one single thing at a time it seems. I'm wondering just how far I'll get into writing this post before I get interrupted and go do something else. Right now I'm resisting the urge to put in some cool text link to something else, but that would just make the problem worse for anyone who has the same problem as me who reads blogs. [edit: urge too strong, must do some linky linky]

I wish I could be a cool and hip blogger like some of these other sites I see out there on the Wor-eld Wiiiiide Web. Again, resisting the urge to plug other sites. Stay focused....read MY blog dammit! Comment on MY blog for once. Jeesh! How do people get so many comments? I don't have any prizies to give out, no give-aways, no crack here, sorry. But if you do happen to read me and would like to leave a comment, it would really put a smile on my face.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll keep this blogging thing up. Sometimes it reminds me of when I was a kid in school and how I wasn't popular and didn't wear the right clothes. One of these days maybe I will take a look at the code for my blog layout again, but right now it's a struggle to even go to the bathroom by myself let alone get a shower in until Hubby comes home. There is this little person, Dr. Destructo, following me everywhere who is now fascinated with the toilette and what goes on in the bathroom. It was cute but now it's kind of annoying. I feel a little helpless about the whole potty training thing we're about to embark on since I don't have the right equipment and all.

If I get the time to tweak my blog then maybe I'd rather tweeze my eyebrows instead? I need to cut a swath on my forehead soon. We'll see. In the meantime, I have to remind myself that this is something I do for me. I have to wonder how many bloggers blog for themselves and how many do it sheerly because they want the notoriety. (I can tell you I do it just to type words that I don't really know how to spell so I can use the cool two-finger tap on my trackpad that brings up the spell check list and tells you how that word is supposed to be spelled. Thanks! Now I know how to spell notoriety!) I guess there are many reasons and the beauty of it all is that they are all right no matter how you slice it, code it, source it, link it, feed it, etc.

Sunday Weigh-In Day
Ok, ok, time to get down to the business of this post. Today is Sunday Weigh-In Day. [Well actually, it's now TUESDAY and I'm trying to get caught up from all the blogging I started to do on Sunday. I did! I really did start this post on Sunday!]

I am happy to report that my digital scale is responding nicely to the new 9v battery I put into it and it now reports that I weigh 191.5 lbs. So that means, since my 1st post on this topic I have lost 3.5 lbs! Wahoo! I'll take it.

I could get up off my fat ass right now and go get my measuring tape and measure myself, but I've decided that I should stick to staying focused on finishing this post and not distracting myself right now. Besides, I don't think that 3.5 lbs is going to make much of a difference in measurements. When I get up to 5 lbs. lost then I think maybe we'll take a look and see.

Whew, ok. Well, that feels good to report that this week. I was really worried that I wouldn't have lost any weight since I got struck with a flu bug or cold last week. I was in no mood to exercise and then right after I started to feel better, it was 'that' time of the, well you know. Oops, I'm sorry, TMI? Too bad, my blog, my rules!

But, I must say, despite feeling crampy and lethargic, I did manage to get a good walk in on Wednesday to replace my normal dance-around-my-living-room-like-a-crazy-person-every-other-day-regimen. In fact, since (last) Tuesday, we've had a really really great week so far. (The weekend and Monday I was laying low and feelin lowly while covered in kleenex – the lotion kind that keep your nose from getting raw. Thanks to Super Hubby for getting them for me and taking such good care of me!

Well, I have more to post about, really I do! But, I'm going to end here for this one and break it up a bit and hopefully get the rest out in the next day or two.